House Bunny is Bad but not Worse than Koizora.

Your movie must be either a) extremely shallow or b) have a target audience of 12 year-olds whose favourite show is High School Musical 3 the Movie, when even after the end credits roll, the audience is unable to remember the names of more than 3 characters.

Thus is the case for House Bunny, a chick comedy (I think..) about a Playboy Mansion-bred surgically-enhanced blonde bimbo (henceforth known as Faketit Shelley, Fashe in short) who via an underhanded trick of a fellow playgirl, is kicked out of the famed mansion into the real world. The real world where of course she can’t fit in, and is homeless until by chance, she lands a job as the caretaker of a female college sorority dorm for social outcasts. And like all Hollywood movies, she proceeds to teach them the wonders of materialism and fake tits!! Upon which the once-honest girls become the same sort of bimbos who once picked on them, and that’s a truly happy ending!

While there were a couple of funny slapstick jokes that had me laughing out loud, House Bunny had a predictable storyline, which would’ve won an Oscar if it had a category for "Most Common Plotline", and worse, absolutely horrific morals. The whole movie taught us that if you are:

a) nerd (or otaku)
b) intelligent
c) from the countryside
d) pregnant with unknown man’s baby
e) have some disability
f) wear some sort of brace or protective support
g) short
h) emo

or any of the combinations, you are useless and must quickly be converted into a mainstream fashion whore stocking the latest in branded apparel, padded bras and thick makeup. You must organise wild beer-fueled parties which must include status of Easter Island and invite all the guys to come rape you. That will make you sexy and thus popular and you will win the hearts of all males and the envy of all females. And of course making you a successful human being.

The ironic thing is, at the end of the movie, Fashe breaks out into a public address (mind you, which probably is a parody) that is so incoherent and random but finally ending with a "we must be ourselves" or something.

It is disappointing that such movies promote materialsm, blind lust for fashion, and other vices of modern society, and did not show more naked natural tits. This is the biggest problem with the show, where are the fucking naked natural breasts? SHOW THEM TO ME.Most of the apparently-ugly girls were actually quite good looking, especially the pregnant one and the spine-braced girl. They were quite lovely but and the spine girl actually has a hearty rack which she showed off jogging without a bra. It’s illogical though, how physically unfit and untoned girls with SHORT HAIR can magically transform into tanned, toned, slim and LONG HAIRED girls overnight thanks to some beauty tips.

Overall, it wasn’t as bad a show as Koizora, which still tops my worst-ever cinema-watched film list but House Bunny certainly failed to impress. Yes it’s probably on par with Babylon AD, which at least tried to be clever.

Finally, why do Americans love old, crinkly, aged women in their traditional porn? If you observe Playboy magazine and the American professional porn scene, the ladies all appear to be in their mid-thirties in Asian eyes. The Japan porn scene is dominated by under-25s who to an American, probably look 15.

I’m still eagerly awaiting Tropic Thunder, hope it’s good. Btw, can anyone explain the fraternity and sorority system in the US? These appear to be like triads or secret societies according to the movies I watch.

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