Ufotable is the Best Studio Ever and Makes Kyoani Look like Gonzo.

Yes, that’s right! The greatest anime studio on Earth, or in the history of this blue planet full of fat otaku, is not the likes of Pixar, Ghibli, erm GONZO, Sunrise, Kyoani, Bones or even MADHOUSE, IT IS UFOTABLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE.

Why, I hear you cry like monkeys without pancakes. That’s because it has the awesome fucking evolutionary JESUS COMINGGGG roster of earth-shaking shows like 2 x 2 Shinobuden, Futakoi Alternative, Coyote Ragtime Show, Manabi Straight, Tales of Symphonia, Kara no Kyoukai… and nothing else! My god, our GONADS are trembling from the mere mention of these wonderous epics so masterfully created that time has stopped just for us to admire and bless these holy classics.

IMAGINE! We got to watch Manabi all  because of this fantastic studio! Also, we got to see 12 delicious goth loli maids toting machine guns, pistols and other WWII weaponry shooting DUNE SANDWORMS up! And best of all, we got to see twin hot babes fucking each other silly because all twins love each other right!? Fucking hell, UFOTABLE IS WONDERFUL JESUS.

The anime world truly evolved when these classics were unveiled. Now, every anime show will follow the likes of Coyote Ragtime, and blow their entire budget on the first episode, bringing up a cast of later-totally underused characters, just to sell merchandise. Best part is, they don’t even make the fucking merchandise! I’ve been wanting to buy a 12 sister set for the longest time. Ufotable also revolutionised the anime world by MAKING IT ALRIGHT for twins to have sex. Indeed, this was a huge taboo that no sane anime studio could overcome, except the BRAVE GLORY CRUSADAER OF EVOLUTION UFOTABLE!! With their groundbreaking feature classic Futakoi, everyone, particularly hot twin girls worldwide, knows that it is ok to love each other and the same man and strip for no reason! Even better is the never-done-before mind-numbing SCHOOL COMEDY SLICE OF LIFE Manabi Straight! It’s so, so unique that I can’t find any other show with a similar premise!?? HELLO, I mean, wow, an anime set in a school with a cast of girls who are fun-loving/zany/cute, THIS IS UMPOSSIBLIBLBLE, Guinness Book of World Records GO GO GO. The best is yet to be though, as Kara no Kyoukai really shows off the power of Ufotable. NO anime studio has ever attempted and succeeded in stealing the script, ideas and entire story off another talent’s preexisting work! It’s such a clever idea, just take an existing franchise, make it into MOVING PICTURES and you get a ready-made fanbase and people lauding your clever plot! I bet these sneaky Kyoani rats stole their idea of "adaptation" from the great Ufotable.

The most unbelievable part of Ufotable is apparently their willingness to work hard and discuss stuff. You know, discussing stuff in a meeting room instead of doing real work. I love to discuss stuff too and would apply to Ufotable as a professional stuff discusser. I could discuss stuff with Nasu on how to make his story into my anime.

BUT! The true reason why Ufotable is so powerful that even Obama uses its animation to launch his campaign, is because of their patented Macromolecular Phyllosilicate Stasis Sephadex G200 Hexogonal Array Animation, that is a trademark of theirs, appearing on most of their ED themes. It’s a powerful method visually and induces euphoria in all who by some sheer good karma get to feast their eyes upon legendary structures painstakingly hand-crafted and moved while a professional with a 2 billion mega pixel camera captures every nanometre of movement. Yes, to the laymen, it appears like people are moving some coloured mud pieces around and pretending that they are beautiful. But what do they know about art huh?


Check out other fanboys of Ufotable here. They aren’t hardcore like me though.

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