In view of the many travelling to Singapore for the AFA (ok maybe just Kurogane), I have deemed it to be in their best interests that they learn the secret dark side of our island nation, stuff that the official tourism board would never ever admit to.
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend AFA however great the temptation, but we might work something out at night, since I get a car when the sun goes down. That’s because I own an anti-solar car that only functions at night. I call her "Kuromitsu". Lol.
As tourists, you must realise:
The food sucks. Don’t be tricked into thinking we’re some sort of food paradise. That is a pack of marketing lies. If you want good food here, you have to travel, mostly by car, to obscure locations where traditional restaurants and hawkers operate. Generally, what you get in the more convenient town areas are shitty franchises, food courts and fast food. But hey, at least we don’t use drain water to make our soup and we don’t have as many insects!
The costs of living here are far greater than in Malaysia. In other words, don’t bother to shop or pay for anything. Let the Singaporeans hosting you pay for it YEAH BABY!!
The supermarkets stock better quality items at more expensive prices. This is no joke, as I’ve visited many a Malaysian food factory, and they manufacture for both Singapore and Malaysia. The Singaporeans are more picky, have led a better life materialistically and thus are unwilling to accept substandard processed food. The Malaysians in general though are more cost-conscious and can eat air-cake and bone chicken. Literally. I made the mistake of buying the same brand of canned chicken curry in Malaysia and the fuck, it was all slimy bones in a larger tin!! And the packaged cakes have such a high percentage of air it’s a fucking LIE to call it a vanilla cake. More like AIR CAKE. On the bright side, the one and only consistent item is twisties.
The tourism spots here all suck. Don’t bother going, especially to the zoo. The zoo has tigers who eat Malaysians. You might only consider the beach at Sentosa because the sand has been imported from Indonesia, and is soft powdery and perfect. Except you fucking can’t import the sea as well and the sea is the colour of soy sauce, and the consistency of pork lard. BUT you will see nubile young bikini females prancing around. In Malaysia, it’s a lot more conservative as they are a Muslim country (not officially) so everyone wraps up and forgoes the suntan. See the girls now!
Don’t worry about getting lost. It’s impossible to get lost here, it’s not Malaysia. You can hail a cab which is actually a cheat code for getting whereever you want, though it might be pricey. Otherwise, cling onto your Singaporean host like a leech. Just find your way to any MRT station seriously, and the pitiful array of stations and linear travel makes it as easy as eroge. It’s not Tokyo where you have spaghetti clumps as a subway map.
The shopping sucks. As otaku, I doubt you’ll shop anything besides anime goods, and these can probably be bought at AFA since most of the major stores have booths there. We don’t have famous local cuisine to buy and take home, well at least nothing that isn’t found in Malaysia. My Russian friends love the Kaya, seafood and my HK friends love the chillis here, but seriously, as Malaysians, you have better stuff. For clothes, just buy COSPA shirts from Sharon at the KKnM.
DO NOT BUY ELECTRONICS recklessly. DO NOT GO TO SIM LIM SQUARE or LUCKY PLAZA. I need to do a full post on this in the hope it might appear high on google. Those places are literally execution grounds for tourists, and even locals who know nothing. I myself was conned heavily when I was a n00b, and now have a burning hatred to salesmen like that of Hitler for Jews. If you must, go with a seasoned local buyer, I’m sure the otakus here can assist.
The law sucks. They arrest otaku for downloading. Lol. That’s not entirely accurate, but it does reflect how tight stuff are here. The people are sheep. In all developed countries’ histories, including the UK, US, Japan, Russia etc, during the process of modern nation-building, which requires a strong centralised government, censorship was strongly done. Americans may claim they have the right of free speech but those just don’t know their own history. Singapore is just past that nation-building phase and the government has yet to release freedom to its people that much. Soon perhaps.
If you want to meet up with me, just drop an email message and we can organise something at night with my Kuromitsu. Due to space constraints, no fat otakus are allowed. Ok just kidding, but there is a person-limit of course, I don’t drive a bus. And East people need not apply.
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