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Diary of an Otaku #1: An Introduction

LagannGurren LagannDai GurrenArk Gurren LagannDaiginga Gurren Lagann!(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Popularity: 6% [?]

Did the Densha Otaku keep a diary? No, because he was a sell-out. What true otaku abandons his true love just for some old woman he meets on the train? Not me, because I am a true otaku. I’ve decided to start keeping a diary like Rorscharch in case anything epic happens to me.

Who am I? I am Moeman. My parent’s didn’t give me that, but that’s because they don’t understand me. They don’t know everyone has a real name, and I’ve found mine. I am Moeman, not Tanaka Ichirou. I shall not reveal my societal name here though, it’s a secret. My real name is Moeman and it’s a name that burns true from my manly heart.

How did I discover my true name? I tried to register for an online game and they asked for a login name. I searched deep within my soul and combining my true preferences in women as well as my sturdy manhood, I learnt the name that had always been within me - Moeman.

Now, the first thing any self-respecting otaku would do in an introduction is to list the works that inspire him, his favourite anime characters, favourite seiyuu and other otaku credentials. My life has been shaped by classics, such as Girls Bravo. My favourite anime character is Ayanami Rei, though I haven’t really seen Evangelion. I read it on Wikipedia and checked image boards for her artistic pictures, so she’s my favourite character. I really love her depth of character and how she doesn’t reject people from touching her in places normally girls would object to. My favourite seiyuu is Noto Mamiko, she sounds really cute. I am a true otaku because I have bought over 300 figurines and 4 body pillows complete with covers.

I work in a rather typical otaku occupation - surfing the web, watching anime, correcting social ills on forums and playing visual novels with a rich storyline. It’s quite a tough job I must say, there are a real lot of anime to watch and people on forums are just so lame and retarded, they need to be taught a lesson. Each of the visual novels I invest in also have multiple routes and the replayability takes up a lot of time. The work might be tough, but the renumeration isn’t very good, I have to admit. Sometimes Mother gives me too little money, or passes it over late and I get really mad and tell her how important my work is. What if one of these forum evils comes to our house and steals from us? I have to correct their behaviour before it happens.

I have plenty of friends, and we have shared some really epic adventures online together. Once in a while, I do go out of the house, but only to safe places like Akiba. You never know when the forum retards may assault you, so it’s best to only go to Akiba where everyone has the right morals and priorities.

Speaking of adventures and experiences, as otaku, I really have some great ones to log down in this diary, but this entry’s getting too long. I have to go back to my work, Rei-tan needs her man to satisfy her. See you again on page 2!


My wife.

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16 Responses to “Diary of an Otaku #1: An Introduction”  

  1. 1 Loba 86 comments

    You just whacked 2 posts within a morning according to my RSS feeds. Did your mid terms finish or you didn’t have any in the first place ? oO

  2. 2 animekritik 25 comments

    @moeman

    Rei Ayanami is a wonderful character, though somehow your “wife” (I don’t know if it’s polite to ask for source on your wife..) is almost exactly the opposite of what Rei is, in my opinion. Why on Earth haven’t you watched Evangelion??? As part of your maturing process, I think it’s high time you did.

  3. 3 Soshi 32 comments

    RORSCHARCH!!!!!!

  4. 4 Leefe 119 comments

    I can’t figure out moeman’s real name!

  5. 5 SnooSnoo 172 comments

    Oh dear. Who are you and what have you done to tj?!

  6. 6 one 135 comments

    You are sniping at a certain feline?

  7. 7 Kesenaitsumi 20 comments

    Wow.. Your life sound like Konata’s and it’s a grow up version!!

  8. 8 TheBigN 75 comments

    The final picture is not either 2d or a figurine? D:

  9. 9 Smankh 4 comments

    Oh my god, your funnyness is pretty back.

  10. 10 The Sojourner 112 comments

    [ID SOJOURNER]

    You like Rei? Me 2!!11 She is so cool!

  11. 11 tj_han 1440 comments

    One: No, not sniping. It’s the diary of a true otaku.

  12. 12 schneider 3 comments

    I’m sure the old old Riuva banner had Rei in it…

  13. 13 tj_han 1440 comments

    Nope, that was Eureka.

  14. 14 jinyamato 110 comments

    lolz……. i wonder…… this is like so true

  15. 15 Blowfish 27 comments

    OMG a Picture!

  16. 16 Doktor 2 comments

    After reading this, I’m pretty sure you’re my hero.

    Meanwhile, watch Evangelion.

Do not use any < and > for your own sake. It will end the comment there and then. Also, there is an automatic IQ filter which weeds out comments made by those who accidentally got transported from the stone age.

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