Did the Densha Otaku keep a diary? No, because he was a sell-out. What true otaku abandons his true love just for some old woman he meets on the train? Not me, because I am a true otaku. I’ve decided to start keeping a diary like Rorscharch in case anything epic happens to me.
Who am I? I am Moeman. My parent’s didn’t give me that, but that’s because they don’t understand me. They don’t know everyone has a real name, and I’ve found mine. I am Moeman, not Tanaka Ichirou. I shall not reveal my societal name here though, it’s a secret. My real name is Moeman and it’s a name that burns true from my manly heart.
How did I discover my true name? I tried to register for an online game and they asked for a login name. I searched deep within my soul and combining my true preferences in women as well as my sturdy manhood, I learnt the name that had always been within me - Moeman.
Now, the first thing any self-respecting otaku would do in an introduction is to list the works that inspire him, his favourite anime characters, favourite seiyuu and other otaku credentials. My life has been shaped by classics, such as Girls Bravo. My favourite anime character is Ayanami Rei, though I haven’t really seen Evangelion. I read it on Wikipedia and checked image boards for her artistic pictures, so she’s my favourite character. I really love her depth of character and how she doesn’t reject people from touching her in places normally girls would object to. My favourite seiyuu is Noto Mamiko, she sounds really cute. I am a true otaku because I have bought over 300 figurines and 4 body pillows complete with covers.
I work in a rather typical otaku occupation - surfing the web, watching anime, correcting social ills on forums and playing visual novels with a rich storyline. It’s quite a tough job I must say, there are a real lot of anime to watch and people on forums are just so lame and retarded, they need to be taught a lesson. Each of the visual novels I invest in also have multiple routes and the replayability takes up a lot of time. The work might be tough, but the renumeration isn’t very good, I have to admit. Sometimes Mother gives me too little money, or passes it over late and I get really mad and tell her how important my work is. What if one of these forum evils comes to our house and steals from us? I have to correct their behaviour before it happens.
I have plenty of friends, and we have shared some really epic adventures online together. Once in a while, I do go out of the house, but only to safe places like Akiba. You never know when the forum retards may assault you, so it’s best to only go to Akiba where everyone has the right morals and priorities.
Speaking of adventures and experiences, as otaku, I really have some great ones to log down in this diary, but this entry’s getting too long. I have to go back to my work, Rei-tan needs her man to satisfy her. See you again on page 2!
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