A Peek into the Diary of K-ON’s Hirasawa Yui!

Dear Diary,

I have started to write in this diary because I will soon be a very popular pop star and some day will need to make a book about myself so my fans can know how I grew up into a pop star. Because I got this only on Thursday, I’ll write the earlier entries from memory.

Monday
Wheee, I’m starting school! I’m now a high school girl, and like reaeeeaally grown up. I’m so grown up and mature because I’m now in high school. My aims as a high school girl are to make lots of good pretty friends who can help me with whatever I need them to, which is everything, and meet lots of cute guys, and become famous and find something meaningful to do.

Tuesday

Today I met 3 new friends! They were very cool. I wish I were like them. I bet Tsumugi-chan gets to eat all the snacks she wants at home, that is soooo my dream life. It’s amazing that there are so many types of snacks in this world, I think it’s important we all share our snacks with me because I really really like snacks. Snacks really help with life because everyone feels good when they eat snacks, that’s why people should eat more snacks then we wouldn’t have all the wars and stuff. Then again, we have had no more wars in this world since world war 2 right? Which Japan and America decided to end after they discovered we all love snacks and should just share them. I saw mommy watching the news but I wasn’t really interested cos there weren’t news of snacks, just some people running around with some weird sticks that make light and sound. Snacks are great.

I wish Tsumugi-chan were alone with me, then I would get 3 times more snacks. The others eat my snacks. Why?

Wednesday
They want me to join the Keion club. Wow! I knew I was popular but I don’t know any music. I only listen to the very difficult songs like Morning Musume, which are quite impossible to play! They are too complex, and only professionals who are well-trained and extremely talented like the Morning Musume can sing and play those instruments.

I don’t think I will join the club, but there are free snacks. I cry when I think of my supply of free snacks being lost. Also, that evil bitch Mio keeps trying to act cute and moe, ONLY I AM MOE! Get off my turf you whore!

Thursday

Ok I’ve decided that the expensive snacks of Tsumugi will be more than enough to compensate for my joining of the club. I don’t know any instruments besides my mouth (for eating snacks) though. I need to buy a guitar apparently, which costs money. I wonder if it’ll cost more than 3 plates of cookies. If so, then it won’t be very worth it right? I can’t even eat a guitar! I love shopping.

We shopped a lot. Shopping’s so fun, let’s change the club into the shopping club instead. Then we can use our skills to the max! But Mio disagreed. Damn.

We went to the guitar shop and I immediately saw my fated guitar of destiny pink love. I don’t know how it sounds like, and who cares, it just looks really nice and cute and I really really want it even though it’s like, got a few zeroes more than what I have. Who cares, I really want it and that’s what’s most important. The bitch Mio says I need to try starting with a beginner’s guitar but fuck her! She’s just jealous of my fate and destiny with the nice one. I mean, how can I become pro at guitar if I don’t use a nice expensive one right?

I decided that if they want me in the club, they have to work and pay for the guitar to reward me for my joining the club and saving their asses.

Friday

Oops, better not let anyone see the previous day’s entry. Yui is a sweet harmless and cute girl, who’s moe and dojikko! HEHEHE.

Anyway, today we started work. I got real bored after 2 minutes and wanted to go shopping. Shopping is so fun. I love shopping and Morning Musume. Mio thinks I like Jammy Poge or something, is that a boyband?

I can’t wait for today to be over so they can buy me my guitar.

Saturday

OMG WTF BBQ! Seriously, what the fuck is Tsumugi’s problem? If she could get me the guitar for cheap, she should’ve done so at the start! Now she fucking wasted my time doing pointless work when I could’ve been shopping and sleeping at home. Also, if she was the rich daughter of the owner or whatever, why couldn’t she have given the guitar to me free? I deserve it for my joining the club and saving their asses right?

Anyway, forget it, I’m too generous to blame those tits for their selfishness. Tonight, I did lots of camwhoring with my new nice guitar of love and fate. I tried to play something but the strings were made of METAL! I mean, metal is used to cut things right? My mommy uses metal knives. Metal is really dangerous and shouldn’t be allowed in the world! I felt pain on my fingers and so decided that I’ll just pose and camwhore with the guitar instead. I knew I should’ve gotten the 5 million yen one, the strings would’ve been made of cloth and not this evil metal.

Sunday

Oooh, last night I pretended my new guitar of fate and love was the handsome idol from Koizora and we had sweet romantic love-making. The guitar is so worth the money! But I won’t remove the plastic from the surface. Because if there’s no plastic covering, I might get pregnant and give birth to kids. I know that because my health teacher taught me and I’m a good student. it feels good, guitarrrrrrrr aaaaaaaaa!

Monday Again
OH SHIT, RITSU RIPPED THE PLASTIC FILM OFF!!!! I’M GONNA GET PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday
I’m bored of this shitty diary.

Wednesday

Thursday

Friday

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