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Eden of the East: What would YOU DO as a Selecao?

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Eden of the East is a great anime for both guys and girls, we all know that. Juiz has a sexy voice yeah? Akira is naked yeah? Saki is bimbo and retarded yeah? We know there are 12 Selecao who have been selected to be modern day Jesuses, each equipped with 10 billion yen to do what it takes to save their nation.

So far, we’ve seen 3 Selecao. Police Uncle, Doctor Man and Akira himself. Akira appears to have some grand plan involving NEETs, but much is still a mystery. Doctor Man was selfish and spent all his cash bribing government officials into letting him create a medical utopia, to help all the patients and old dudes in the nation. Great guy. Police Uncle frittered his money away like a bum.

Now, imagine what would’ve happened if Yui from K-On was Selecao instead.

Yui would go shopping, buy the 1 billion dollar pink diamond encrusted guitar handmade with gold, platinum and cashmere, and then prance around in Chanel and Prada items while stuffing her face with pastries made by the top patisseres.

That’s truly saving the world. 10 billion would be a nice financial stimulus to the economy but as she did not purchase her guitar from Yamaha or her pastries from local Japanese chefs, she fails the nation.

But seriously, if you were made to play the game with your life at stake, what would you do?

10 billion yen is only 100 million dollars. It’s not enough to purchase a single F-22 fighter jet!! Mr Outside is quite the stingy piece of shit. As such, military actions of the conventional type will not be possible. One method perhaps is to use the common enemy effect, like what Ozymandias did, and create a terrorist group that will scare the shit out of the Japanese and force them to unite as one hardcore nation. You know how in times of crisis and war, people tend to be more hardworking and less individualistic? Maybe that’ll work. In fact, that might be what the missile attacks in Eden are all about.

Alternatively, you could seek out all the other Selecao and kill them so you would be last man standing. Or just go on a huge spending spree before you die.

PS. : Those of you who either live in Singapore or are on Twitter might have noticed that the hashtag #awaresg was extremely hot and beat the likes of wolverine, H1N1 and Swine Flu as the most popular topic in the whole world yesterday. Plenty of non-Singaporeans were confused by this and none of the monkey Singaporeans bothered to explain.

Just a short introduction on it, basically there’s this women’s rights activist group called AWARE in Singapore, whose members got booted out during their annual general meeting by a group of organised christian fundies whose main purpose was to spread the message of homosexuality is evil and abstinence the way to go to the whole nation. Cue much screaming and shouting from women here, while the men look on in amusement. Little did anyone suspect that this incident soon captured the attention of the whole nation and even the government chipped in with some comments. It’s sort of a battle between the public, who are either motivated by the desire to retain secularism in Singapore, or blindly brainwashed by the mass media into hating on the christian fundies, and the Christian fundies, who rallied their churches. It ended in a grand finale of about 3000 people gathering at a meeting screaming and shouting yesterday, and the fundies losing a popular vote and quitting. The whole fiasco could be interpreted in a number of ways, and I choose to read it as a sign that women are fucking useless and need to shut up and sit down back in the kitchen to make sandwiches and cut fruits. women do not like to see the big picture and prefer to engage in petty conflicts while neglecting the real issues at hand.

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15 Responses to “Eden of the East: What would YOU DO as a Selecao?”  

  1. 1 teohhanhui 9 comments

    But seriously could Bill Gates be a better Mr. Outside even if he wanted to be?

  2. 2 SnooSnoo 172 comments

    Wait wtf 100m is stingy. I can’t comprehend tj’s sense of money.

  3. 3 Ascaloth 200 comments

    Oi TJ, at least tell us what YOU would do, first. :s

  4. 4 tj_han 1439 comments

    What I did! I would create the terrorist organisation. Wait did I just steal that idea from Gundam 00??

    Snoo: You noob, 100 million is a drop in the water of a nation’s GDP. You can’t even build a building that’s funky with 100 million! An F22 fighter costs 160 million or so.

  5. 5 nutcase23 34 comments

    Justified or not, this fiasco only gave the Parliament less reason to accept anymore women MPs.

    -1 for the Church
    -1 for AWARE
    1 for giving everyone another reason to laugh at Singapore, Singaporeans included

    No one’s going to take AWARE seriously for sometime as it is.

    OR IS THAT WHAT THEY WANTED?

  6. 6 double 43 comments

    The crap going on with AWARE was 計画通り.

    As for the 100 million, use it to get more money.

  7. 7 LianYL 777 comments

    I like fruits.

  8. 8 SnooSnoo 172 comments

    @tj, yeah but for normal living expenses thats probably enough to last a whole lifetime as long as you don’t spend it like Nagi. Why would I wanna buy an F22 fighter for?

  9. 9 tj_han 1439 comments

    You don’t watch Eden? If you don’t spend the money to save the world, you’ll get killed by the supporter.

  10. 10 SnooSnoo 172 comments

    I do. But “Or just go on a huge spending spree before you die.”
    Thats what I’m talking about. Spend it the way I like.
    How can I not watch Eden.

  11. 11 Blowfish 27 comments

    Hmmm….
    How about brainwashing the population through the massmedia like its done already anyway.
    Combine it with something like the swine/birdflu that the popularity is in fear and then drug them with an “antidote” into wishy washy zombies. No own thoughts = Peace

  12. 12 omo 137 comments

    I agree with the 10B yen thing being a drop in the water. It’s enough money to make a difference just by spending all of it, but not enough for what they’re asking you to do to keep your life.

    Something as silly/useless/lols as Youtube is worth 10 times that, for a point of comparison. Japan’s GNP is $4.272 trillion USD as of 2007, which is 424.483 trillion Yen, or approximately 10 million times more money than what a selecao starts out with. Even if all 12 Selecao combine together, the money they have wouldn’t make a dent on Japan’s GNP.

  13. 13 Anonymous 21 comments

    With 10 billion yen, I would fund a series of gambling challenges to weed out the useless and the weak and elevate those who are worthy.

    The games shall be held on a ship.

    The ship shall be named Espoire.

  14. 14 Mimi 6 comments

    I really did have something halfway decent to say, but that comment on women threw me into a fit and reminded me of why I’m one of the many single Japanese women out there. D:

  15. 15 Loba 86 comments

    Say the money is not enough and use it to make more money. Eventually, buy over the whole world and be the new King of the world (cue : death note plot)

Do not use any < and > for your own sake. It will end the comment there and then. Also, there is an automatic IQ filter which weeds out comments made by those who accidentally got transported from the stone age.

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