Day 5 in Japan: Shibuya is Awesome Heaven on Earth.

Shibuya is a nice place.

The key to enjoying Japan is actually to get one of those powerful accessories to equip – one that increases your power levels. How do we get such a thing? Simple, just bring your own white boy!

See, the Japanese are really in love with/in awe of caucasians, especially the better looking ones. I, not physically distinguishable from a Japanese guy or even a Chinese, do not wield the power to influence the Nipponese that much. With this trick I’m going to teach you, you can make new friends in Japan very easily!

1. Bring your own white boy or girl. Preferably boy, because I assume you want to be meeting females.
2. If you see a decent-looking one or anyone who’s caught your eye (and does not have a samurai boyfriend beside her), go up to her and make sure you say your first line in English. This is really important! I made the mistake of saying "sumimasen" once prior to asking for directions and I got ignored, but when I said "Hey excuse me!" they got really attentive. This is because they think any Japanese that talks to them are either trying to hit on them (nanpa), make them join a cult, or sell products. Sometimes all 3.
3. At this point, their reaction will almost always be a look of shock, fear and then followed by either frantic hand-waving or flustered broken English sentences if you’re lucky. They will almost always say, "Sorry I don’t know English."
4. This is where it gets good. You will now need to speak Japanese, but not good Japanese, at least at first. You must use simple sentences and look like you’re trying really hard to help them understand you. This will really impress them and make them want to talk to you, since it’s like doing them a favour. You’re putting in effort to helping them alleviate their fear of English!
5. You can gradually improve the quality of your Japanese, but make sure not to appear like you’re a weeaboo or otaku. Rather, give out the impression that Japanese is easy and you picked it up with little effort since the natives can’t speak English, and you’re so well travelled.

Yeah, so this is the sure-win way of making Japanese friends on the street, or asking to take pictures of/with hotties.

Of course, since my girlfriend reads this blog, I must state that I did not actually perform the above trick in real life and this is all a theoretical plan. Maybe.

Today was yet another day of lectures, and I shall spare you the boring details. The speakers were Prof Kevin Griffin from Columbia, and Prof Chou Loke Ming from NUS, on ecology and marine biology respectively, basically hard sciences. None of the students except the 3 Singaporean girls were biology majors so most of them had no idea what was going on. I took a lot of life sciences modules and have always been a sciences person, so it was pretty simple. It was funny to see the Americans, who on the previous day, were so eloquent in their discussions of economics and politics, become bumbling fools who failed to grasp the concept of using isotopes of elements to obtain scientific data, and other fundamental science stuff. The poor Koreans and Japanese were partly aware but because they took their sciences back in high school, in their native language, found it difficult to understand as they had not learnt the scientific English terms.

Besides that, the interesting thing was the contrasting styles of Asian and Western professors. Since the seminar was supposed to be really open to discussion, the professors were required to stop and answer questions whenever the students raised their hands. They were also to provide opportunities for group discussions. The Columbia professor did this brilliantly, probably because he’s used to this. On the other hand, our Singaporean professor, who has been in a system of top-down education where the students are lifeless drones absorbing knowledge to barf it out onto the exam table, got irritated when students kept interrupting him with questions that he found retarded. He’s not very good at hiding his feelings, and when people make scientifically unsound or uninformed statements, the faces he made were hilarious. It ranged from the "WTF, are you retarded?" face to the "Erm, ok, thanks for interrupting me to spend 5 minutes talking about nothing" face. The columbia professor on the other hand had a friendly face no matter how dumb the things he heard, and constantly lavished praises like "that’s interesting!" or "Great point!" when it obviously wasn’t.

Each method has its pros and cons, I find that with the American one, classes are really slow-paced and meandering. With the Asian style, there appears to be only one correct answer for scientific problems.

The main highlight of the day was the Shibuya trip. A bunch of us, Americans and Singaporeans, were about to leave for Shibuya, when Talkieman, a fan of museums, showed up and said he was going to the Bridgestone Museum, which featured some artsy stuff. Most of the Americans decided to go with him because they thought Shibuya was like Shinjuku. Big mistake on their part. The Singaporeans and Druggie decided to head to Shibuya instead. Tip: Skip Shinjuku, just head to Shibuya if you’re into shopping. Anyway, stuff are expensive either way but Shibuya is a lot more interesting to window shop simply because there are FUCKING HUGE AMOUNTS OF HOT GIRLS WITH GREAT BODIES WHO WEAR NICE CLOTHES THAT SHOW BOOBIES.

This shop at 109 building basically sums it all up! TITTIES!

Admittedly, a lot of make-up is involved and possible plastic surgery too but you know those JAV actresses or gravure idols with large boobies? Those are real. You can actually see normal girls with such chests on the street. I really think it’s the food or genes in Japan or something, but Singapore doesn’t have these types of girls at all and I’m annoyed at that.

We went to the 109 building in Shibuya, which is essentially the HQ of the garu (gal) culture in Japan. It has 7-8 stories of nothing but trendy clothes for females, and even on a weekday like today, there were tonnes of girls slinking around in their fashionable clothes. There was a shop which had a liason with Gainax or something, and had Evangelion clothes. This you must see, so I have posted the picture below.

Basically tank tops with the plugsuit designs, it’s pretty ugly though. The models are hot.

Pity the clothes are insanely priced, like ranging from 6000 yen to 10000 yen for just a top and 8000 yen for a bikini set. It’s crazy money.

We wandered around aimlessly, with the loose intention of going to Harajuku but instead found ourselves lost in a seedy neighbourhood. I then mentioned that Shibuya had a massive district of love hotels, and the girls were really excited to go there to see the fabled themed rooms and vending machine checkins. I found it really embarrassing to ask "Where is the love hotel area?" but thankfully, we have the bold and shameless girls to thank for that and they just rushed up to people asking that. It’s really awkward for me and Druggie because there were 2 other girls, and the numbers fit. And they weren’t very pretty. Or even at all. And that’s an understatement. It’s like implying we have no taste in women and are dragging any lame mutt to the love hotel.

Anyway, thanks to their zeal, we found the district and it was pretty cool. You can see couples entering and leaving the various hotels and there are like 30-50 of them. We went into about 10 of them and the girls insisted on taking photos of themselves in the lobbies.

I suppose all that was an unforgettable experience. BUT WAIT, we then came across this place called the Alcatraz ER. It looked like a stripjoint from the outside, but was on the 2nd floor of a building beside a love hotel. One of the girls insisted we go up, and we did and when the lift door opened, we were greeted by the sight of iron bars, corpses and generally very creepy atmosphere. There were 4 buttons each labelled with a blood group and a sign read "press your blood group".

The same girl, let’s call her Monkey, did. The door slid open automatically to reveal a blood-stained hot Japanese girl in a really revealing nurse outfit, complete with uber short skirt, exposed shirt showing off her bra and rather large boobies, and she asked us if we had a reservation. We were really shocked and thought it was some kinky fetish parlour, and turned to flee but Monkey instead asked if we could go in and take a look! Hottie Nurse surprisingly smiled and let us in. It was actually a theme restaurant! Individual dining rooms are jail cells, or operating theatres and the ambience was really authentic. The waitresses were all sexy females clad in that nurse costume, and the chefs were all decked out in full blue operating theatre gowns. We didn’t eat there as we had dinner already, but I’ll be sure to return there. You can check out the website at Online reviews state that the prices aren’t cheap (expected) and the food was shitty (well it’s a prison?) but I suppose the main thing is the wtfness of it all.

Your dining table.

Your chefs.

Finally, another anime reference.

13 Responses to “Day 5 in Japan: Shibuya is Awesome Heaven on Earth.”

  • LOL @ the alcatraz themed restaurant experience. I’ve heard about it, and how the food sucks. Have you heard about the ninja one? You should drag the girls there. Somehow, I’m really turned off by the girls in your group. Sigh.

  • ” I must state that I did not actually perform the above trick in real life and this is all a theoretical plan. Maybe. ”

    Nice post. I find interesting your plan on how to make friends in Japan. It is a theoretical plan, but it should be fun to practice that on the streets.

  • Shibuya is heaven.

    I’ll rise to heaven again, soon.

  • The same girl, let’s call her Monkey

    So mean!

  • Ah the good old “bring a white person to Japan” trick always works wonders lol.

  • When I return to Japan, I’m hitting both Shibuya and Shinjuku, mainly because 20-years ago, I went to both places and would like to see them again. ^_^

    As to being a gaijin on the streets of Japan, I remember that it was both a good thing but sometimes not so good. *lol*

  • Oh, being a white person in Japan is not only positive.

    I’ve had racist phrases shouted after me on the streets by Japanese people.
    But most people are very welcoming, yes. :)

  • >> JAV actresses or gravure idols with large boobies? Those are real. You can actually see normal girls with such chests on the street. Singapore doesn’t have these types of girls at all and I’m annoyed at that.

    Erm, seriously? I see them all the time. They generally hide them beneath dark coloured clothes. Only a (slutty) few wear cleavage enducing outfits.

  • You mean malay girls? Because I only look at the East Asian skinned ones. I like cleavage.

  • On the flip side, at least one Nigerian pimp tried on us while we were in Shinjuku (I was with a group tour 3 years back in Tokyo).

    Shibuya: Isn’t that the setting for “The World Ends With You?

  • lol took me 2 days to finish reading this (well i only read at work, and by read i mean slacking off lulz XD)

    and woah at that themed restaurant XD

    good write up btw, ill be damn sure to visit shibuya if i do go to japan someday ^^

  • @TP: As a TWEWY fan, I shall answer this! Yup. It’s Shibuya.

Leave a Reply to AstroNerdBoy