Oh yeah, I’ve seen them all.
Obnoxious groups of smugs walking in packs with their huge ass DSLRs. Ego-brandishing eggheads flashing their oversized imaging devices around with an arsenal of unnecessary lenses that they bought just because a photography forum recommended them.
These are the upcoming bunch of photography wannabes who have absolutely no use for DSLRs, but just want one to look cool. Want to know where you can find most of them?
FETISH CLUBS ORGANISING MODEL SHOOTOUTS AND COSPLAY CONVENTIONS! Seriously, just take a look at the pictures they take. Imagine they were using not a giganormous chunk of cash, but a phone camera. Oooh, the pictures don’t look all that great anymore, eh? One has to know thy limits! Whipping out cash on something you have no idea of how to operate will not improve your photography skills!
But Lian! You’re a photography noob! They all cry out in defense.
How can you accuse us of being a bunch of superficially egoistical assholes, when you don’t even take decent photos!?
That, my friends, is the knowing of one’s limits! The epitome of such, if I might say. You don’t see me carrying around an enormous block of douche, do you?
Back to the topic here then. Most of us normal people who have the decency of knowing that it’s retarded to purchase DSLRs when you have no need for it will more than often be individuals who don’t really bother about the quality of their photos. Oh no, these are photos to be uploaded onto Facebook profiles! The humiliation! We’ve got our hands on a truckload of crappy pictures that only a thirteen-year-old would dare to display as his work.
I shall teach you the ways of PRETENSE and INABILITY!
Step 1: Take a photo. Any photo. For tutorial purposes, I have waved my phone about and randomly shot a picture.
Step 2: Turn it into grayscale in Photoshop.
Step 3: Drag the Contrast all the way to the max. Increase Brightness by 15.
Step 4: Use what I call the shaded corner layer
Step 5: Slap the layer on top of your grayscale picture!
Step 6: Reduce the layer opacity and.. HOLY PHOTONOMY! ART!
This is a depiction of the turmoils in my angsty teenage life as a churning heater fan. The world around me is boring and I am totally emo and sad, as shown By the black and white effect. The blurry photo was not due to shaky hands but was intended as a means to convey my over-exaggerated adolescent problems. I feel like the world is out to get me, so I totally vignetted the shit out of it.
You’ve just discovered the Way of Art.