Japan 1 Aussie 3: Valiant Samurai Boys Let Down by Dull Edge

Damn. From a freak goal caused by Takahara and Yanagisawa (who were utterly useless pieces of monkey shit otherwise) pushing Mark Schwarzer the Aussie keeper from catching a Nakamura cross, Japan took the lead against the run of play. For the first 15 minutes I was sure Japan would concede, such as the Aussies’ dominance. It took  2-3 anime dudes to get Mark Viduka the beefcake off the ball everytime too.

But after the freak goal, the Nippons settled in and started playing pretty passes in midfield. Their midfield is really good but the two pieces of monkey dung up front wasted every single chance.

And so the Japanese defence and midfielders had to work doubly hard, burning out in the end and conceding 3 soft goals right in the final stages of the game. To think the Japs had so many chances to kill off the tie too. Bah! Useless. Also, there were more Australians than Japanese with black hair. Half the Japanese team had Mohawks or rooster cuts. And the utterly shite Yanagisawa also happens to be a handsome pretty boy. Girls do look out for him.

On a side note, Australia are officially the roughest team in the world. Following through their sliding tackles to take away the opponents’ legs, hacking people from behind, pushing and shoving etc. They need to be shown some Sumo power.

Tim Cahill of Everton scored 1 scrappy goal that tied the game and another great finish from the edge of the penalty box. He’s the man. The last goal was scored by Jon Aloisi who looks A LOT like that steam train guy from Eyeshield 21. Even scored a similar goal too.

So in short, Japan lost and I’m gutted. Now I’ll have to hope Korea wins. Both Asian teams so far lost 3-1. Looks like we won’t be seeing the 2002 WC repeat itself.


Japan

16 Responses to “Japan 1 Aussie 3: Valiant Samurai Boys Let Down by Dull Edge”


  • yawn. Soccer is too manly for me.

  • Well, Japanese footballers just don’t have the spirit that a lot of the other teams do, I don’t think. It’s sort of sad really, because I think if the country cared a bit more about the sport, they could put together a nice team. Ah well.

    Anyway, I bet the Aussies are so scrappy from having to deal with the Maori from New Zealand all the time. That’s sort of like “get scrappy or get hurt.”

  • You know who else was rough? Angola.

  • Bah – I have Japan to go through from this group along with Brasil as part of the World Cup Fantasy Football contest at work. Given how minimal the chances of them taking points from Brasil are, it doesn’t bode well for me.

  • 2002 was a fluke, Asian teams and North American teams both are seriously lacking in quality. They will all lose in the group stage (except Mexico has a chance to lose in the first round instead).

  • 2002 was a FIFA induced money-making fluke. Here we go back to the South American and European teams.

  • I think the roughness is because Australia is more of a rugby nation than a soccer nation. Rugby is a hell lot rougher than it looks.

    Also, Japan was GAIJIN SMASHED.

    What, no red cards?

  • At least South American teams entertain. Hell even this year’s Germany team knows a bit something about entertaining football. Even when Asian team won, it was still a snore-fest aka anytime England touches the ball.

  • lololololololololol America lololololololololol

  • Well, at least Japan scored a goal. The US couldn’t manage even that.

  • Aww, poor Japan. I actually caught over one minute of this game, a new record. Does this mean you’re transfering support to England, tj han?

  • Lol US. They were pwned, as they say in their own lingo.

    Actually hopeless, it’s not hopeless yet. Maybe Japan will beat Brazil.

  • “Maybe Japan will beat Brazil”

    HAHAHA! After today’s performance? I don’t think so. No way, no how. Brazil #1!

  • You know something. We all forgot something majorly important. Croatia.

    I can’t believe I forgot about them. The Croats are gonna thump Australia with them East European toughness built under years of hardship. And thump Japan too. If you think about it, the whipping boys of the group are Japan and Australia.

  • TRIVIA – Did you lot know that 3 of the Croats at the WC are Australian born and attended the Australian Institute of Sport to improve their football skills etc. Went back to Croatia on family grounds in their very late teens apparently!

  • TRIVIA – Did you know all the top few table tennis players from all around the world are from People’s Republic of China?

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