Let’s start with the proper way to introduce yourself. In all conversations related to anime, the inevitable "So what’s your favourite?" question pops up. What you answer is so crucial, it can either impress deeply or get you labelled some unsavory nickname like Narutard. Naturally, an esoteric series should be your pick. Otherwise, a moderately popular well-received series would do. Of course, just the name of the series won’t do, as you are expected to elaborate and explain why you picked it. Go over to the useful Anime News Network and memorise everything you need to know.
Now for some practice. Two fictitious guys, YY and PP.
YY: So, PP, what’s your favourite series?
PP: I can’t really decide from the 400 or so that I’ve seen but if I really have to, I’ll say Earth Girl Arjuna.
YY: Er why’s that? (this guy is a bit impressed because he hasn’t watched Arjuna yet)
PP: Oh I like the environmental themes and the Mononoke-hime vibes I got from it. The similarity to Macross Zero was also enjoyable.
YY: *thinks to himself* wow this guy is an expert.
Get it? If not, here’s the wrong way.
YY: So, PP, what’s your favourite series?
PP: Naruto! I like this new anime called Bleach too.
YY: C’mon man! Naruto is shit and so is Bleach. Stupid shonen mainstream crap! There are a lot of better stuff around, like Haruhi.
PP: fuck you nerd! Naruto is the best. There’s so much intelligently planned out action, deep story and touching romance! It’s the best anime ever!
YY: *thinks to himself* the mindset of the mainstream anime viewer. I am so great.
In other words, do not admit you like shounen. It’s ok to like stupid harem like Love Hina or even dirty dirty Yakin Byoutou. But if you want to be part of the anime-viewing aristocracy, pick the right shows to wear the badge of. For me, I have always said Last Exile and Gatekeepers and now Ghost in the Shell SAC. Others like Jpmeyer goes with Sakura Taisen and Pretty Cure, Darkmirage has his Maiotome DVD specials and Jason has Shana and AMG.
Use the buzzwords. Rather than saying "Keiichi", use "K1". Since 1 = Ichi in Japanese, get it? Use acronyms as well. You don’t see net-savvy people reading out URLS with "H T T P COLON SLASH SLASH W W W DOT R I U V A DOT COM". It’s also advisable to use the Japanese slang words. You don’t want to go like "huh?" when people say, "ZOMG, that tsundere meganekko is so moe!" But do not ever replace English words with Japanese equivalents as this makes you a big wannabe. Practice time!
FYG: Oohh Kawaii!!
Human: What is that?
FYG: Oh it is cute in Japanese.
Human: You need to die.
That was the negative example. Now for the correct one.
JP: I love the Haruhi’s tsundereness.
TJ: I love the Yuki’s Mukuchi.
JP: Mukuchi is overrated, they are just Rei clones.
TJ: In real life, the Tsun Tsun component of tsundere would irk everyone.
JP: Yeah but deredere is the win! Along with burning passion and moe! You lolicon hikikomori.
Memorise the staff names. This is pretty difficult so when you can churn out names like ANN, people will naturally think you are the king of anime. You just need to choose a few names to pretend with. Most people do not bother with the cast and staff so you’ll seem a level above them.
TSU: Woah Hirano Aya did another role, this time as Youko’s seiyuu in School Rumble Season 2.
DM: Yes, there are other changes in cast, such as MAKO taking over the role of Karen.
TsU: MAKO also voiced Yurie in Kamichu.
DM: Saitou Chiwa was Tama, the cat in Kamichu. She was also Anita King of ROD the TV, Becky of Pani Poni Dash, Natsumi of Keroro Gunsou and Kosuna of Sunabouzu.
TSU: Speaking of Natsumi, I heard Tomino is taking a very active role in the production of Keroro Gunsou.
DM: Well, the use of four chief writers for the varying episode styles struck me as very unique. Like one of them is TJ’s favourite Yamaguchi Hiroshi who also wrote Gatekeepers and GK 21.
The conversation above reeks of Otakuism. Try it!
Make references to old or obscure stuff. The trick is to pretend you have a rich heritage and wide range of anime experience. Slamming new shows also adds credibility to you, as you will seem like a hard-boiled seasoned veteran and not a starry-eyed new digital age convert.
Gari: Woah woah this new episode of Haruhi is just like the great Battleship Yamato days.
Skant: Yeah I missed the good old days when anime wasn’t so manufactured and formulaic.
Gari: Back in the days of Maison Ikkoku and Ranma, we never did have these silly fanservice.
Truth is of no concern.
Look down on people. It can be for whatever reason. Examples include a limited anime viewing range, lack of knowledge (even if you don’t have any too) etc. As long as you are the one looking down, they have to look up. Check out these model statements.
PH: Man I hate these Honey and Clover fanboys who are ruining the show with their silly shallow fanboying.
DRM: Oh ROFL I can’t believe you haven’t watched EVA? n00b.
Hin: As an ex-fansubber I can tell you what goes on behind the scenes.
Finally, let’s end off with some homework. By now you should, if not originally, be able to do some Otaku l33t speak and avoid being typecast into what that Whai Whai calls the "Mainstream anime fan" (lol). I challenge you to answer the following questions.
What is your favourite series?
What do you think about Bleach?