Part 2 of Spring New Anime Reviews! 9 More UP!

I prayed hard to JESUS and asked for lots of mecha shows. The bearded one agreed, and told me "Man, these moeOtakus are getting on my nerves. I shall ask DAD to brainwash all the studios into making manly shows involving sexy mecha and scifi." And the Big Daddy of the Universe did so.

How else would you explain the sudden tsunami of good sci-fi anime pouring in? Oh btw, do you guys know what is the official scientific term for the useless loose excess skin around the vagina?

Answer: Woman.

Once again, the following shows are rated according to the penile scale and arranged in no order of merit.

Nagasarete Airantou
Lots of people have been bugging me to read the manga but once I found out an anime production was in the works, I didn’t bother. We all know harem is bad right? Wrong. The only harem type shows that are bad are those who take themselves seriously, like Shuffle. Those are pure PAIN to my retinas. There is a correlation between the Ease of Viewing and the Speed of Discontinuation – it’s an inverse relationship. The easier a show is to watch, the less likely I’ll drop it. Nagasarete Airantou has hit all the right keys, except for one. There is a sealed community where there exists only one Y chromosome; all the XXs are hot except for the pioneer old woman; all of them are so horny that even a useless wimp is revered as a tripenile mango man; the seiyuus are all top names, particularly Horie Yui who can do no wrong; and finally, the animation is bloody good. The downside is that somehow, the main character Ikito or whatever (didn’t bother to remember) seems to be homosexual. He doesn’t like females. It’s a cruel prank by JESUS, placing a gay man onto an island full of horny hotties. It’s torture for the gay man, the horny hotties and the horny viewers who’ll trade their souls for a 3 day 2 night tour of the island. 5 penises out of five!!


If a hot girl bathes with you and massages your back with her titties, would a straight man flee?

A Really Gay Show
I don’t know and don’t want to know the title of this show. It’s probably aimed at female fangirls. I clicked it open, browsed through it, and vomitted my dinner. -412241241421 penises.


Good Riddance! I’ll never see you monsters again!

Polyphonica
A Demonbane-type show where a music player has a pact with a music spirit and they take part in the greatest rock festival ever. While fighting bad guys of course. The protagonist has the coolest motorbike since Gantz’s monobike and Kaneda’s big red machine. Why? Cos his can transform into a giant pipe organ… who’ve guessed exhaust pipes could sound so good? So his magical music skills power up a red-haired tsundere who transforms into a super girl and saves the day. I felt a bit giddy watching this because my eyes were rolling around 360 degrees. 2 penises out of 5!


I’ll watch this show only for the cool musical instruments. Transformers: Music in Disguise!

Murder Princess
The OVA of arguably the best manga serialised in the abominable Dengeki Teioh magazine. I read the first volume of the manga and thought it was a pretty bad one. But its anime counterpart is actually quite the B- material. This just shows one thing – manga standards are much higher than anime ones. I don’t know how to categorise this show – there’s gore and action, moe characters, fantasy medieval setting, robots, monsters and comedy. ALL of which are so mediocre and average nothing stands out. If soomebody wants to find out the exact dictionary meaning of mediocre, just watch this show. 2.5 out of five penises. The manly Paku Romi voices the Murder Princess while Koshimizu "Kallen" Ami voices the original Princess Alita.


She hasn’t killed anyone, so she can’t be a Murder Princess.

Engage Planet: Kissdum
Despite its really stupid name, Kissdum is fucking good. A 690250923502309 penises out of 5 rating would not cover how powerful it is. From the moment the show opens till the credits roll, there isn’t a moment without explosions, big monster insects, delicious realistic Macross-style mecha and vehicular designs and deaths. Add to that an intriguing plot featuring what seems to be a mutagenic blade which produces ugly critters, and we all hail the greatest show this season has produced so far. Yes, it pips even the bed-wettingly good Heroic Age to the number one slot. One complaint is the addition of said mutagenic blade, that seems a bit out of place in a believable sci-fi world. Judging from the cliff hanger at the end, the protagonist mutates into yet another Superman.

I have a huge liking for against-the-odds battle situations featuring humans in militaristic mecha. Hence Starship Troopers, Macross, GitS are all some of my favourite shows. The amphibious VTOL transformable craft in Kissdum, resembling a manta ray, is a must see. The main fighter jet is a reverse wing very similar to the YF-19. In the picture below, the Valkyrie lookalikes are actually escape pods, which doesn’t really make sense. Why have a fully bipedal and armed mecha only launchable when its ship is about to be destroyed? But befitting its status as escape pod, they sure get crushed easily.

MUST WATCH!

Romeo x Zorro
The romantic tale of two men – one the heir of the ruling aristocracy, the other a masked vigilante. They fall in love despite both having male organs.

GONZO has a knack of picking up classics and modernising them with fantasy or scifi elements. Gankutsuou was based on Count of Montecristo by Dumas of course, Gatekeepers was based on the Chinese classic Heroes of the Water Margin more commonly known in Japanese as Suikoden and Blue Submarine 6 was based on the Little Mermaid. Following all the previous successes come the most famous yet unread classic of fruitless romance – Romeo x Juliet. Who here has read the actual RnJ? I haven’t. In fact, I haven’t watched any movies of it too. The only knowledge I have are those anime/manga theatre productions which always use RnJ as the script. Examples include Ranma 1/2 (6 Romeos and 2 Juliets.. one was both Romeo and Juliet), Kenichi (Juliet was a big breasted martial artist), Tsuyokiss (so bad it was good) etc.

So how as GONZO’s version? Excellent animation so far, with rather unusual character designs. These are very atypical GONZO designs. Perhaps they want to attract a larger female audience with the sharpened chins? Juliet has this amazing ability to stuff her hair into her skull to trick others into thinking she’s a boy. Romance isn’t exactly my favourite genre, but GONZO is my favourite studio and I shall watch more of handsome Juliet. 4 penises out of five.

Kono no Aozora ni Yakusoku wo…
Remember I said harem shows which appear serious are straight failures? Yup, this one falls into those categories. The main female is a really angsty red head but she’s extremely pretty. Everyone’s on an island with only one industry and that has gone bankrupt. So everyone has to move out soon, but before that they have to form strong bonds so the feeling of separation will be so intense, it BURNS INTO THEIR MEMORIES AND BECOME EVER LASTING STARS! Or whatever. Note that this was what the main character, the guy, said. He probably means, he has to sex every girl in the dorm first before he loses the chance to. Liar. Tokimeki Memorial has shown that even with hot girls, it’s not possible to sustain viewership if you have a rotten everything-else. 1 penis.


For some reason, this girl, Rinna, had a one night stand with the main chara in the opening scene and then beat him up.

Otome wa Boku wo Koishiteru 13
Not exactly a new show but the 13th episode is out and I’ll just post something about it. Who was the big liar who said ep 13 would provide closure? I think it was Stripey. Lying son of a monkey! I suppose in a way, Girlboy and Tsunderella are officially together and the episode was funny. But is this counted? Or is this a spineless way of suggesting a closure yet not wanting to piss off the fanboys of the other girl?


90 percent of the show was in SD form.

IDoLmaster Xenoglassia
Any show with a "Xeno" will remind me of the epic Xenogears and this automatically heightens expectations. A Sunrise series by the same cast and staff, it seems, of Mai-Hime and Otome, it features mecha as well. Btw, look at the picture below. Are those two twin sisters? I can’t tell them apart. The seiyuu cast is stellar as usual with lots of big names. I think this can be a good flytrap to capture the attention of the scary fanboys while the rest of us more normal folk go about our usual anime business. GAWD help us if Lucky Star strikes, nothing can stop the torrent of fanboys from the Kyoani cult. But seriously, Idolmaster isn’t a bad show judging from the first episode. 3.5 out of five penises and I will continue watching it.


Natsuki.

19 Responses to “Part 2 of Spring New Anime Reviews! 9 More UP!”


  • Yet another tj han styled list, lol!

    In the meantime, the Lucky Star CM’s kinda addictive.
    muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUU

  • Those two characters from Xenoglossia probably aren’t related (I would say definitely aren’t, but this IS Sunrise, and they may well do some crazy twist later). In the game, Chihaya (the one with the laser cutter) is 15, whilst Azusa (the one about to get her neck slit open) is 20, and don’t really look all that similar. The age adjustments (Chihaya is two years older in the anime) and the animation character designers style is what has resulted in them looking so similar in Xenoglossia.

    And that was far too serious an answer in reply to a joke, which has now made me look like even more of a scary fanboy that people already think I am. Ho-hum.

    I’ve not actually seen any of these other shows yet, so I have no further comment other than to say that the Nagasarete Airantou manga was hella lame.

  • You’d better be right about Kissdum, it immediately carries Geass associations (stupid title mecha) and I’m in the minority of watchers not feeling Geass’ supposed awesomeness. There’s just this tiny but distinct feeling of I’m-kind-of-an-idiot upon watching something that feels like its creators titled it simply to inflict a cruel joke on the audience….

  • Wow, I totally didn’t know that Gatekeepers was based on Heroes of the Water Margin. Then again, it’s not like I’ve ever read Heroes of the Water Margin…

  • What’s with you and Jesus?

    Just because its the Good Friday weekened? In any case, weren’t you Buddhist/Free-thinkerist?

  • Jpmeyer: That’s as true as JESUS praising otakus for their devout faith. You mean Blue sub 6 WAS based on the Little Mermaid? Seriously?

    Mitsuki: Today is Jesus day, like how 1st April is April Fool’s.

  • Today isn’t Jesus day. It’s Jesus got pwned day.

  • Jesus Day is 3 days after his got pwned day

    Anyway what was that really gay show? 钢铁三国志?

  • @ tsubaki – No, it’s Jesus respawning countdown time after being pwned day. Tommorow is Jesus respawning day.

  • Ya what’s that gay show? I haven’t seen that show and would like to avoid it…

    Is it this?
    http://www.saintbeast.com/

    I haven’t heard of this show before but I’m guessing that it’s this show since this is the only spring show subbed and released by ZMPIG before Apr 6th, 2007 at 4:03 pm that I haven’t heard of.

  • Tik I think that’s correct. Btw Iron 3 Kingdoms is just as bad or even worse, its YAOI.

  • yes, Iron 3 Kingdoms is one screwed up show

  • 蓝兰岛=lan lan island

  • Anyway anyone catching Shinning Tears as well?

  • Asteroth: Very strong RPG feel as expected, some of the fighting is a bit lame, but still acceptably enjoyable overall. OP and ED performed by Hoshi Souichirou.

  • Shining Tears? Count me in! I will be watching it

  • I was one of those who thought Xenoglossia was Xenogears related. I may give it a try since it´s Sunrise. And since is Sunrise i´m expceting the cast to die and then get ressurected and all this “done-overnight-fix-of-the-plot”

  • hey does n e 1 here know were i can watch all of the episodes of Kono Aozora ni Yakusok wo i can only find 3 episodes of it subbed on veoh… if u know were can u emal me at broke_sniggaz@hotmail.com or can u send me a message on youtube at http://youtube.com/user/nitrousboy0311 please or if u dont have youtube and have veoh can u send a message at http://www.veoh.com/users/darkman6909 thanks i really wanna finish watching this show bye…

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