It’s pretty interesting that most of the lengthier comments and responses are actually from females. I suspect it is because the male otakus are not Subject Matter Experts at this and are sitting on the fence. Many of you guys thought the previous post was a funny joke one. Actually, ALL the points can be applied to real life to achieve success.
Of course, as Maglor mentioned, getting the relationship is one thing, but maintaining it is much harder. Nevertheless, why learn to fly before you can walk? So we decided to focus on how to get a girlfriend first. Obviously there are many types of girls, and you have to adjust your strategies accordingly. I mean, for example, when we fought the giant robot scorpion back in the first Mako Reactor Dungeon in FF7, we had to wait for his tail to be lowered before attacking. And when I fought the undead boss at Cosmo Canyon, I used an X-potion for an instant win. Similarly, there are different strategies involved with each type of girl but the key is to know her type. The only way to do this is through experience and keen observation.
More importantly, I noticed the people who really ought to have followed the advice of the previous article all thought it was a joke one while the people who are already attached or girls understood how effective it really is. This is because most inexperienced guys tend to have misconceptions about romance, most likely misled by their mums or female friends or romance chick flicks. Or eroge for that matter.
I’m not very romantic. In fact, I think of relationships in terms of economics, biology and sociology. This is probably due to my personality, which is a common otaku one of rationality and logic-based thinking. If you want romantic, emotional-based advice, go see Tsubaki of now-dead Anime Desho Desho. He’s quite the opposite of me. Too bad he’s busy playing MMORPGs, if not he’ll probably chip in with his version of a dating guide. The 10 tips I gave you did not pass through the moral exam. They were designed to be as efficient as possible and with a high-success rate.
I understand that #10 (the get to know many girls one) is a bit of a controversial tip. Personally, I wouldn’t date more than one girl at a time, but it’s always good to make more platonic friends. If the girlfriend gets jealous of everything, then you should ditch her. Friendships are just as important and you shouldn’t have to choose between one or the other. I’m always against nucleated couples who abandon their friends and spend all their time with each other.
This post was supposed to answer one fundamental question that OWEN S asked. Maglor suggested being nice and taking care of the girl’s needs ALL the time, but Sasa and I disagreed, citing that some balance has to be achieved. Because guys who treat girls too nice always become "best friends", dogs or rejected goods. Owen S asked for an elaboration on this and I shall gladly oblige.
Ok read the following scenario and the possible resulting endings:
Nicholas has a crush on a girl, Clare. Nicholas naturally wants Clare to like him back, so he does lots of nice things for her, such as buying her presents, treating her to meals, listening to all her grouses and complaints, agreeing with everything she says and trying to change himself to become what she said she liked. They talk often and Nicholas thinks they are close.
a) One day, he confesses that he loves her but Clare gets upset and says, "Why are you ruining our friendship? We were best friends!" and avoids him from then on.
b) Clare starts sharing her deeper emotional issues, about some other guy she likes who treats her badly. Nicholas listens patiently, with heart hurting. He decides to wait for her till she gets over him and realises how good Nicholas is. Clare has sex with the bad boy and runs crying to Nicholas again for the nth time. Nicholas never gets any and is just an emotional punching bag.
The desired outcome is obviously Clare realising that Nicholas was a great guy and loves her, and they both get together. But seriously, the odds are quite low and the investment is not worth the returns.
Why is this so? Girls have a weird tendency to classify guys, within their first few moments of meeting him. They are either "boyfriend material (sexy)" or "friend material (useful)". It is extremely difficult to jump from friend material to boyfriend material but quite easy to go from BFM to FM. Think about it in terms of taking the elevator – you start at the sixth floor of a 10 storey building. You can either press 1 or 10. It takes the same effort to pick either 1 or 10. But you can only take the elevator once. So if you chose 10, you can still go to 1 by jumping out the window. That’s easy and painful.If you picked 1, to climb up to 10 you’ll need to conquer the stairs which is tiring.
Anyway, the FMs will never get a chance of being the boyfriend. In fact, they are not even considered no matter what they do for the girl. It’s like playing Marvel vs Capcom in practice mode, no matter how many times you hit the opponent, her life bar won’t decrease. I don’t know the exact mechanics for this, but there is a direct co-relation between being BFM and actually scoring the girl. Watch out, because if you end up the FM, it’s almost impossible to convert your status to a BFM. You’ll probably have to step back, let her forget about you for a while and then try again after a period of time. Or just move on.
Obtaining the status of BFM is quite tricky. It does involve a certain degree of appearance but only about 20 percent. Guys do care about girls’ appearance but girls don’t really care as much about their guys’ looks. The other 80 percent is down to your actions and the things you say. Refer to the previous article for some tips.
Here are some tips to earn BFM Status:
1. Do not listen to her whine about her old lovers, love problems or other guys.
Once you do that, your status as FM is sealed. Most people rarely talk about their past relationships or crushes to someone they currently like, so by listening to them you are merely cementing that FM status. She’ll start to see you as a tool, an outlet to vent her problems. Since you can’t always say "NO" outright, it may be better to always steer the conversation topic away from such. Conversation steering is another skill that guys should always pack, as girls generally have no interesting topics to discuss, besides clothes and boybands.
2. Do not praise her too much. Keep it minimal.
This is where my favourite desert theory comes in. A cup of water in the desert is infinitely more precious than a cup of water in the river. If you praise her too much, she’ll be numb to it and further praises will not have any effect. So praise when the time is right. This concept is also applied in the anime world and referred to as "TSUNDERE!!". Bootlickers are never loved, and your not praising her differentiates you from the other guys who are only too happy to praise her because they think it makes her happy.
3. Be funny (to her).
As the posts by others have stated, humour is quite a difficult beast to grasp. But it is also a siren which alerts you when the fish is ready to be reeled in. Girls who like you always laugh at your "jokes", even if it’s terribly unfunny.
4. Always, at all costs, do not let her know about your crush on her.
Romance is like poker. If you show the opponent all your cards, you’re probably going to lose. Girls will always prefer a guy who doesn’t like them, to a guy who they know likes them. Mystery!! It’s strange but if the girl finds out you have a crush on her, she’s going to be scared away and start thinking you’re a pest or a stalker. You must only let her know you like her when you can confirm she likes you already. If not, she’s going to run. This is not unlike using the Pokeball to catch a Pikachu. You must first damage it to a certain threshold.
5. Make her chase you instead.
Combine this with the point above. The success rate of getting attached goes up tremendously when the girl is the one doing the chasing. You can achieve this effect by using the above tips, and then she’ll feel like she’s not going to get you. Sooner or later, she’s going to crack from the pressure and decide that to obtain happiness, she needs to take the initiative. And when she does, it’s time for the Pokeball.
6. Do not buy her expensive gifts or overdo the romantic gestures.
I suppose some types of girls do require such gifts but I’m not interested in those. For the regular girl in her teens or early twenties, she does realise that material wealth is not that important. Yet. Guys who splurge on 999 roses for Valentines’ Day, offer to see her home despite that adding 2 hours to his travelling time, and paying for expensive dinners, think they can score points from those. Little do some of them know that they can only score points if the girl is already in love with them. If the girl thinks of them as FM, then she will more likely feel pressured and intimated. She will start discussing your overeagerness with her female friends and classifying you as a stalker. And then the more of these romantic gestures you perform, the more she’ll be scared of you and repulsed by it. No, she doesn’t think you are being sweet, you are just being creepy. YET, if you’re the boyfriend, then you score lots of points for exactly the same gestures. Amazing right?
So, do you get it now, Owen S? And DrmChrso? Btw, these knowledge come from a variety of sources. I thank my best friend, who’s a girl. You should only treat girls well and without any of these techniques if you really want to be platonic best friends and nothing more.