.funkyblue { color:#0000AF; }



10 Ways to be an Undercover Ninja Otaku in School!

LagannGurren LagannDai GurrenArk Gurren LagannDaiginga Gurren Lagann! (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...
Popularity: 10% [?]
We all know anime is a shameful hobby and as respectable college students, we must strive to hide all signs of our inner otakuness. You surely don’t want the hot chick from Life Sciences or the cute girl from Statistics and Applied Probablity to think you are a NEET with a 2D complex right? But how do we hide this unmistakably distinct stench of nerdiness? Is it even possible? Riuva teaches you how to be a Ninja otaku!

1. Make friends with people who don’t know anime. As many as possible.
Don’t shun others just because they like only Naruto or worse, don’t know who Range Murata is. It’s imperative that you gain lots of friends who do not know anime at all actually, as this is exactly like covering yourself with leaves and twigs for jungle camouflage. If your friends are all the anime-clueless sort, nobody will guess that you like the sissy Japanese cartoons. Your secret will be safe.

2. When your friends (assuming you have them since you will have followed step 1) are deciding where to eat, do not demand the group go to somewhere a) Japanese or b) maid or c) dirt cheap so you have more money for merchandise.
Normal people don’t really have much things to spend their cash on, so they foolishly fritter it away on disposable items such as food. But since we need to pretend to be normal, we must join them in throwing cash down the alimentary canal. Bear with it!! If you eat well, you will be less likely to be spotted as an otaku.

3. Set your cellphone ringtone to something instrumental.
You do not want to kill off your own uniqueness, so we’ll still keep the anime-ish ringtone. But instead of Motteku Sailorfuku, how about some classy instrumental music instead? I’m currently using Guns and Roses, the OP of Baccano, which is kinda jazzy. I was using the boss battle theme of FFVI for a couple of months. My message tone is the victory tone of FF tactics, which is obscure enough and still sound great. Generally, soundtracks and BGMs work well.

4. Set your laptop wallpaper to a logo bereft of anime characters.
I recommend the Riuva series of wallpapers, they may have anime-styled characters, but done tastefully in the RangeMurata style. A moe-mongering wallpaper of perhaps Konata upskirts is a sure sign of an otaku, so change it to something more discrete.

5. Deny knowing anime unless the questioner first identifies his cred.
You have to say the standard phrase of denial, "What is anime? Is it HENTAI? YOU WATCH JAP PORN haha" or "Sorry, not interested in Pokemon." if the person who asks is a stranger or someone who does not appear to know anime. Don’t give this response if you feel the other party could be an undercover ninja otaku as well. Other ninja otakus will secretly and subtly identify their faction, through hints. For example, if I were speaking to LianYL for the first time and he wishes to confirm if I also liked Gintama, he would hum the tune of GIN IRO NO SORA, the bestest OP in the world. I would then harmonise in the same octave, thus erasing all doubt of misidentification.

6. Memorise some smokescreen hobbies to help in self-intros.
Knowing the first year of college involves lots of self-introductions where people judge you based on your hobbies, be prepared with a list of fake hobbies to share when it’s your turn to speak up. You must have extensive knowledge in these fake hobbies lest people get suspicious. For me, I normally pick "football" as my hobby and sometimes "web publishing". But if you really feel the need to launch a beacon of identification such that other ninja otaku can spot you, say something like "My favourite bands are redballoon, Baseball Bear, Uverworld, Snowkel and Orange Range". These sound really mainstream and safe yet any ninja otaku worth his salt would recognise these having the common pattern of all bands who have anime OPs/EDs.

7. Dress normally.
Normal is not what you think is normal, but what OTHERS think is normal. Haruhi shirts, SOS-dan armbands, maid costumes are not normal, despite what we think.

8. Do not join the anime club.

Obviously, trying to be a ninja otaku in an anime club is like going to Church with two flaming torches and singing "Red Fraction". I did join the anime club but I tell my friends it’s the "Animation Society" where we analyse animations.

9. Stay clear of grunt otakus.
The grunt otaku is someone who has a very rudimentary knowledge in anime, possibly one from the BT boom. He watches the usual mainstream popular series and is dying to discuss it. True ninja otaku normally get sucked into a conversation with these guys and we’ll obviously slay them with our razor sharp knowledge. But the trouble is, the otaku need to show off our otaku knowledge and level up other otakus make the non-otakus realise that we are really otakus. This has happened to me lots of times. I just cannot resist the urge to engage in conversation about anime.

10. Get a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, buy some artificial vaginas from Jlist.com. Link below.

Popularity: 10% [?]

Click now to visit J-List!
Buy Some Artificial Vaginas now!

47 Responses to “10 Ways to be an Undercover Ninja Otaku in School!”  

  1. 1 bj0rN 114 comments

    LoL! Nice tips. Can you give me a discount on the artificial vaginas?

  2. 2 Owen S 46 comments

    Your posts are actually funny nowadays, good job. Must be Independence Day’s doing. MERDEKA. MERDEKA. MERDEEEEEKAAAAAAAAA.

  3. 3 TheBigN 34 comments

    Funny thing is, I’ve been following these tactics all along. Some consciously, some unconsciously. Though I think it’s time to open up and awaken my cosmos a little bit. :P

  4. 4 Kite 3 comments

    I also follow all of these rules except for #8, an anime club is where I can finally unzip and let my anime geekdom all hang out :D And for smokescreen hobbies I replace “anime” with “asian cinema”, I’ve seen Crouching Tiger and a few John Woo and Jackie Chan flicks so it counts right?!

  5. 5 kokanaden 174 comments

    @Owen S That’s because he has people like me to write serious shit.

    @Kite Anime geekdom=epenis?

  6. 6 Elydis 30 comments

    Lol point 10 is just blatant advertising. I guess im pretty lucky that the whole course im in are to some length an otakus/otagirls. And surprisingly they have better taste then watching the main stream and actually listen to otaku recommendations.

  7. 7 TheBigN 34 comments

    I didn’t really have a problem going to my college’s anime club. It wasn’t like anyone was stalking me to see where I be going, and I never had someone know that I was in an anime club if I didn’t tell them first or if they went to the club themselves. :P

  8. 8 Kite 3 comments

    @kokanaden Gotta keep it hidden most of the time or its size will scare people off ;)

  9. 9 Zer0 71 comments

    Uni students, NSFs are not NEETs.

  10. 10 EG-san 4 comments

    I actually didn’t bother at all to hide my otakuness. Heck, most people I know in my course know I am an otaku or some sort (my presentation usually have Gundam images inserted). However, not many other people know I am an otaku coz I usually talk much with my friends only (and they are don’t mind at abt my otakuness), and rarely talk to people I didn’t know. In fact, I didn’t even know the name of more than half of the students taking same course as me.

    Maybe, one other tip is, don’t make many friends?

    As for anime wallpaper, many students in my college actually use anime character as their wallpaper, even from series they didn’t even watch/know

    For anime-related question, usually my friend ask me bcoz they know I have the answer from them. In fact, from that i can “poison” them to watch anime also

    About place to eat, usually boys at my college choose the place where the food price is cheap, so no problem

    For joining anime club, my college doesn’t even allow such club to be formed ~huhuhu

  11. 11 Dan 5 comments

    *Click*

  12. 12 Deranged 8 comments

    Strangely enough the situation in 5, although with a different series long ago, was how I met my best friend…

    I would also like to add, from experience, reading a Negima volume in the middle of a maths class is also a bad idea. Negima and Maths can be interchangeable with something similar. =P

    As a ringtone, I have ‘God Knows’ which has a really long guitar intro so yeah….

    9 is something I can’t resist sadly…

  13. 13 ZeroG 38 comments

    LOL, i’ve decided to take cab to camp just to read this entry, LOL

    Great :D can we have a mass ordering of oppai?

  14. 14 Yyi 6 comments

    ‘the otaku need to show off our otaku knowledge and level up other otakus make the non-otakus realise that we are really otakus’

    Probably the bestest sentence in this post. Time to pump up the experience bars of our peers.

    Btw, I don’t really care about whether my ringtone is anime-ish or not. Now it happens to be Mahou Shoujo Magical Tan! (Moetan’s OP) while my sms tone is ‘Ni-pah!’, which both are enough to turn heads in the MRT train.

  15. 15 alafista 26 comments

    LOL I frequently run around school in sos dan t-shirts, actually no one knows what the tshirt is about anyway, they would just think its a normal print.

  16. 16 samejima 12 comments

    hahah… my handphone’s theme is a Sos-dan logo. No one knows what it is anyway. And in the video folder, it’s full of eroge/non-eroge opening movie, full of Yuko Ogura pix @ picture folder, music’s all japanese songs.

  17. 17 Elydis 30 comments

    I guess it is the society, it is so clueless to this subculture that we almost become invisible. Those who actually spot and identify us are usually fellow otakus or people who watch anime that want to be cool by picking on others to make himself/herself feel good in singapore that is.

  18. 18 Charles 15 comments

    I am an otakun and proud of it, regardless of what others think. I believe in socialising and people of outside interest groups, but I will not hider my personal likes and loves of Japanese animation, comics and the culture behind it.

    Then again…. I’m an attention seeker. :P

    Btw, hope to see you on campus.

  19. 19 rOninZz 14 comments

    “if I also liked Gintama, he would hum the tune of GIN IRO NO SORA, the bestest OP in the world. I would then harmonise in the same octave, thus erasing all doubt of misidentification.”

    LOL, well unfortunately SMU doesnt have an anime club.

  20. 20 §oL 15 comments

    LOL’ed at 5.

  21. 21 dKiWi 33 comments

    @EG-san : This post is supposed to be funny lar… SG society is tolerant enough so that you don’t really have to hide it as long as you don’t bother people with your hobby. Like I think soccer is dumb but I’ve been tolerating it for the longest time now and I’m ok.

  22. 22 ZeroG 38 comments

    22 on a ball that doesnt belongs to anyone one of them.

    anycase, if u see someone wearing a SOS-DAN T shirt, will u honestly walk forward and greet him as a fellow otaku and have a pokemon battle(as in sparring of otakuish knowledge)?
    I will not do that in open public unless im really damn bored. like on a train and saw someone with that shirt on, provided the person seems approachable. Other than that, all i will do is passively aknowledge that “he’s another otaku” and walk away.

  23. 23 Ascaloth 67 comments

    Comments:

    1) Just make as many friends as possible. Period.

    2) Exception: the Japanese stall at the Arts Canteen. Most FASS people would probably agree it’s one of the few stalls there that actually serve good food.

    3) No one will bat an eyelid if the FF Victory March is your message tone. It’s normal enough.

    4) No one will bat an eyelid at an Initial D wallpaper, either.

    5) Most people won’t ask. A good tactic is to take a passive position; keep mum, let the other party talk about anime first, and judge his/her otaku criteria from there. Then decide what to say, if anything at all; I usually continue keeping mum if the other party is a Narutard/Bleachtard/fujoshi. Alternatively, keep your otaku circle small; my association with the RIUVA team is about the only indication of my otakuness, if people even recognise it for what it is.

    6) It doesn’t have to be fake hobbies; you can use any other of your actual alternative hobbies as a smokescreen. You can even claim an interest in Japanese drama; live-action drama works like One Liter of Tears have more cred in the mainstream than anime works. For the record, I am truly interested in live-actions, it’s not just a smokescreen.

    7) Go one step further, and dress WELL.
    8) Well, TJ was kinda asking for it with his high profile. I’m thanking my lucky stars for my relatively low profile. :p

    9) Stay away. Just freakin’ stay away. For me, I’m actually more repulsed than attracted whenever I hear nerds talking about Naruto or Bleach. I’m only ever comfortable when I’m talking with people who actually know their stuff.

    10) Alternative: Get LOTS of girlfriends. J/K, of course.

  24. 24 dKiWi 33 comments

    @ZeroG: I don’t talk to strangers period. If I’m wearing a MP Command shirt and I see a fellow MP (who isn’t in my sub-unit) wearing a MP Command shirt in the MRT or whatever I ain’t talking to him either.

    Sidetracking abit I’m planning to get my SOS-Dan shirt next month… KKnM seems to always restock. Much cheaper than “normal” clothes as well.

  25. 25 AsouKai 62 comments

    but… they always want to eat japanese food. it’s not MY fault ya know.

  26. 26 Tiny Red Man 86 comments

    I consider myself as a part-time otak..and here’s my way of being a Ninja Otaku..

    1) Silent mode your phone! easiest.. Be it in school or work, or in any public transport. won’t disturb others.

    2) When people talk to you bout anime stuffs, just reply,”ya..ic…” and nothing more. if you talk more, it’s GG! Of cos, if you wanna talk more, just skim across it..like “Ya, I think I have an idea what you are saying..”

    3) Yap, dress code is impt. add some accessories to it and of cos, some Adidas Deodorant won’t kill. I’ve come across some otaks whereby their smell is so strong, you wanna quit being an otak.

    4) For the handphone wise, if you are having eroges pic as wallpaper, dun show your phone too often. Use it, keep it. and there’s a method to keep it, such that no one sees them.

    There’s more towards being a Ninja Otaku. It’s up to one to explore. Something to keep in mind: It’s about balancing being an otaku and a normal human. You can show all ur Otaku powa with your otaks frens but when it comes to normal friends, nothing more. Balance~~

  27. 27 weiiii 3 comments

    @ rOninZz
    smu has a japanese club. which is equivalent to mass anime watching.
    go showoff your geekdom.
    it also has girls in yukatas.

  28. 28 kokanaden 174 comments

    @weiiii I heard they do it “unofficially”. So thanks for telling the whole world on what pirates the smu jap club members are. YAY.

  29. 29 jm 1 comment

    @weiiii
    clarification: smu’s jcc organizes *gasp*ODEX-APPROVED*gasp* anime screenings. we all love ODEX. :]

  30. 30 Asuk 2 comments

    “But if you really feel the need to launch a beacon of identification such that other ninja otaku can spot you, say something like “My favourite bands are redballoon, Baseball Bear, Uverworld, Snowkel and Orange Range”.”

    Holy cow! I’m definitely gonna try out this strategy if I were to go through college once again…

  31. 31 homeless_homo 37 comments

    I liked how you weaved that “buy a fake vagina” line in there. I better buy one now

  32. 32 rOninZz 14 comments

    @weiiii hmmm well when I went for CCA day I saw a naruto game being displayed @ the booth (instant avoidance) a guy wearing this really weird white outfit. Heh already in a few CCAs but I guess I could go take a look.

  33. 33 JS 81 comments

    Ninja Otaku? I prefer the term “Stealth Otaku”.

    Lately I’ve been obsessed with Metal Gear…

  34. 34 weiiii 3 comments

    @koka
    i never said they pirate it. what, does mass anime watching equate to pirates?
    @ rOninZz
    they are pretty hard core otakus, natsu matsuri and cosplay and all that. seems like there are more girls in the club though.

  35. 35 holybell84 14 comments

    lol, nice guide, only tat those artificial CBs are out of the question for me :D

  36. 36 Analitez 33 comments

    Sorry, although you posted alot of good points. I only have 1 thing to say to you.

    I am not interested in pokemon.

  37. 37 Loba 11 comments

    I am saddened as I am a grunt otaku.

    *Looks to xak to get oneself upgraded. (No loli, moe pls)

  38. 38 dKiWi 33 comments

    @Yyi : Having a sms ringtone with Rena’s “USODAAA!!” is sure to turn heads…

  39. 39 Phil 1 comment

    I love your tips. Really, I do.

    But seriously, you really mustn’t hide your otaku-ness at all. I honestly don’t care and let loose. There’s really no reason for me to hide it all. If people really don’t appreciate the fact that I love animes,and collect a shitload of anime mechandise, then that’s their problem. My philosophy is to not put on a facade but rather be true to yourself. Besides, none of my friends gives a rat ass that I adore anime. I surely do not regret being a part-time otaku. I think it’s great!

  40. 40 Marmot 18 comments

    “But instead of Motteku Sailorfuku, how about some classy instrumental music instead?”

    …. BUT I LIKE MY MOTTEKU SERAFUKU RINGTONE ;_____;

  41. 41 Ascaloth 67 comments

    I heard some girl’s Motteke Serafuku ringtone just now, right before JS tutorial.

    :no comment:

  42. 42 Kev 3 comments

    You guys do know that to ’smoke screen’ your hobbies, all you need to say is: ‘I like video games’ and BAM! You’ve blended in with 90% of the guys in the room. Mention Xbox and Halo (even if you hate it) and you’ll get the other 10%.

  43. 43 Renji Murata 2 comments

    Yeah… Naruto and Bleach. This is so Funny.

    My 2 best friends, who are NOT otaku at all, always discuss about Bleach and Naruto. I never said a word.

    For Christ sake!!, I stop reading bleach since vol.3 and never even read a single page of Naruto.

    However, even I always show them my interest in Otaku stuffs, H-manga, eroge etc. but they don’t know I am otaku, Just think I am an anime addicted. That because they have not even heard the word “Otaku”. Otaku is something invisible in society.
    Only Otaku can see otaku.

    By the way, I am a COLLAGE TEACHER so I think my situation is a lot more complex. LOL

  44. 44 Renji Murata 2 comments

    Haha…. Just one more thing.

    If you want to know…….

    “10 Ways to be an Undercover Ninja Otaku “Sensei” in School!”

    I can help you.

  45. 45 martia 2 comments

    my whole course are either otakus or part-time otakus XDD no one can deny the influence of japanese anime XDD

    and wow, are otaku girls so rare? oh wait, personally i don’t mind naruto or bleach, though i like one piece, hellsing and gurren lagann a lot more, they are rather enjoyable too. does that still make me an otaku girl or not?

  1. 1 The Silent Room » Blog Archive » That’s Just Weird
  2. 2 [LianYL] Studies in Moetronics Part 1 at Riuva : Research Institute for Unicultural Visual Arts


Do not use any < and > for your own sake. It will end the comment there and then. Also, there is an automatic IQ filter which weeds out comments made by those who accidentally got transported from the stone age.

Leave a Reply



Which is your boy/girlfriend?
  • Right hand.: 28% (134)
  • Left hand.: 13% (62)
  • Vibrator.: 7% (34)
  • An anime character.: 52% (248)

Total Votes : 478
Vote

Most Commented Posts

Featured Feeds

Counter

  • 15 currently online
  • 51 maximum concurrent
  • 1438880 total visitors
Site5 $5 Hosting Deal


E2046 - The GK e-Shop