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[LianYL] Animerican Gods

LagannGurren LagannDai GurrenArk Gurren LagannDaiginga Gurren Lagann!(9 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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Popularity: 8% [?]

Long, long ago before time was called ‘time’ in a land far, far away, there lived a family of celestial members who called themselves the Clan of Science. The Clan of Science had 6 members and proved to be a formidable force in the high Mehvens.

The eldest of them all was by the name of λ. He could call upon lightning and tsunder as and when he fancied. He is an entity of few words and when he does speak, his words echo through the stratosphere making himself heard by every living mortal.

The second goes by the name of Wb. He enjoys making noise, contrary to the behavior of his elder brother. His past time is to boast his ass off to all the Gods existing in Mehvens and often got into petty disputes over female mortals. He is able to influence the flux of the Earth’s magnetic polarities and even summon comets as he pleased.

π was a woman of few words like her oldest sibling. She enjoys spinning things that in fact, anything circular would be of her fancy. She enjoys spinning things so much that she was made in charge of the revolutions of all the planetary movements.

DC(==) was a very direct person, or rather, a very direct God. Anything that stands before him gets annihilated, no questions asked. == would control the electrical energy flows in time space when he is free but most of the time, he plays with his younger sister Ω, whom he adores a lot.

Ω was a cheeky little girl. She likes her brother == very much and hangs around him all the time. However, she does nothing but being a hindrance most of the time. Some have given her the nickname “impedance”, much to her dismay.

Ф had a nonchalant approach to the  events around him but this attitude usually led to him being perceived as an unpredictable scheming person. He has the power to transcend dimensions and his favourite one would be Dimension Animu.

The Clan of Science was a very much feared family in the celestial zone due to their supreme prowess and authority. Naturally as the saying goes, “With great power, comes great pussies”, they had an arch nemesis and this enemy Clan goes by the name of Escafroth. They could not stand the fact that the Clan of Science was wielding more power than them over the universe but always ended up screwed over by by the former. There was little they could do actually, until the head of the clan devised a menacing plan.

The plan goes like this:

1.       Kidnap the weakest of the Clan of Science, Ω.

2.       Demand a ransom.

3.       Invest in stocks.

4.       Reap a profit.

5.       Buy private army.

6.       Crush Science.

It was an impeccable plan indeed, so much so that I tremble shit out of my ass as I type this. The only thing on his hindsight as he created this formidable, horrifying plan was that, he was no match for even the weakest link. However, the plan was never carried out because the entire Escafroth family accidentally fell off the Mehvens and landed in shit, never to be heard of again. Now that I’ve successfully killed this plot device, let’s get on with the story.

On a fateful day, Ω did not come home from a stroll. == was very distraught and sent a current running through the Mehvens, and accidentally shocked a returning Ω off the celestial zone. Ω floated about in the air before finally residing in Square land. Ω didn’t really mind living in Square but not being able to have pro-incestuous behavior with == was kind of shitty. Realising what a confounded thing he had done, == decided to punish himself in the worst possible way. He forced himself to become a clown. A once stern, temperamental and grumpy == had become a clown! 

λ could not accept the fact that a great member of the Clan headed by him had become a lame ass. As such, he zapped == of the high Mehvens. == laughed like an idiot as he fell, bearing overwhelming remorse for accidentally shocked off his little sister, and on the other hand he was happy that he could see her again. But Lady Fate thought DC was shit and threw him to a Circus where he could continue with his clowning acts. DC was removed of all his memories and ended up clowning hard for the Circus, for some reason he couldn’t conceive.

Ф managed to convince λ to forgive == after a long persuasion, and warped out of Mehvens to retrieve his two siblings. Too bad he had been slacking around for too long and lost his touch. He accidentally warped himself into a dimensional crack from which he couldn’t escape. The dimensional walls were about to CLAMP him to death but a dimensional witch stopped the time flow in the dimensional crack.  Ф was made to work to work for the witch in exchange for staying in her house, the dimensional CLAMP.

λ was by then seriously peeved at how screwed up the situation was. He wanted to use his formidable force to descend onto Earth to get his stupid siblings back. Do note the irony as they were supposed to be the most powerful Gods in the high Mehvens. π stopped him before he left for mortal land and reminded him that his only weakness was not being able to cross between the celestial boundaries. If he were to leave Mehven, he could never find his way back. With that, π volunteered to take his place and promised to send her siblings safely back to their Mehvenic home. To π, one of the most powerful Goddesses in the high Mehvens, this was probably an easy task to handle. She could easily materialise everyone back with a snap of her finger. But alas, she fell in love with a mere mortal on her way down to earth and made him her eternal slave in the land of mortals. She never returned after that. The last time I heard, witnesses say they saw a beautiful female with a third eye walking down the streets before disappearing into an alley. A third eye, that’s π alright.

λ sent the last family member he had in Mehvens on this somewhat easy but daunting task to retrieve all Science Clan members. The first place Wb fluxed into was a place that was to be called Hei’an many centuries later, at which he started flirting around with the local females and went MIA. Aghast, λ tied a celestial rope to his ass and boomed onto the surface of the earth. Almost immediately, he located all the other family members and started warping them before him one by one for questioning. He was appalled at how such a simple task could be screwed up so badly and started reprimanding all of them before all the mortals.

Wb got pissed off when his turn came and cut λ loose of his celestial rope, and started laughing at his loss of navigation. Without the celestial rope, λ was a rather useless person and was made to obey the next powerful entity, Wb. Wb brought him to the place that was to be called Hei’an and they stayed there for good. Sometimes, the meagre pay would force λ to moonlight a bit in a plumbing company managing sewage Valves.

That was the end of the dynasty of the Clan of Science and Jesus took over shortly after. He promptly changed the name of the celestial zone to “Heaven”.

The End.

P.S. Hei’an is the old name of Kyoto

Popularity: 8% [?]

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17 Responses to “[LianYL] Animerican Gods”  

  1. 1 tj_han 1439 comments

    Are you on drugs lol? LOL.

  2. 2 RDrake 21 comments

    Ummm… Errr… LOL?

  3. 3 Akai 4 comments

    LOL. Are you High? or is there an explaination to this utterly random post… Made for an interesting read, in any case.

  4. 4 TheBigN 75 comments

    Is E&M really that bad? :P

  5. 5 double 115 comments

    Erm… wtf? LOL

    I bet studying has driven you to madness.

  6. 6 omo 137 comments

    This is awesome stuff!

  7. 7 LianYL 777 comments

    No one caught any of my references. I am sad.

  8. 8 Crest 99 comments

    No one caught the Gaiman references and all the anime references in it?

  9. 9 LianYL 777 comments

    I shall give more hints then: λ is a symbol pronounced as "Lambda". Wb is the unit for magnetic flux, pronounced as "Weber". π is pronounced as Pai, or better known as PI. DC is just direct current. Ω is pronounced as "Omega". Ф is pronounced as "Fye" but written as Phi. And yes this is a homage to Gaiman.

  10. 10 tj_han 1439 comments

    Let’s see, 3 x 3 eyes, Full Metal Panic, CLAMP, Tsubasa Chronicles, Neil Gaiman’s American Fatty Gods and a tenous link to Escaflowne. Lol.

  11. 11 kokanaden 79 comments

    What, no references to Gintama at all?

    Weird.

  12. 12 Zeroblade 163 comments

    kokanaden, that’s because tjhan didn’t write the post.

  13. 13 annoymous 1 comment

    great stuff! i was laughing my ass off ROFL

  14. 14 kokanaden 79 comments

    @Zeroblade I’m quite sure there’s a Gintama reference somewhere. LianYL’s a convert.

    In addition, I see references to DC (Circus) and another writer.

  15. 15 Tsubaki 518 comments

    Lol, I only caught the CLAMP and FMP references.

  16. 16 TFish 9 comments

    So, Wb and λ ended up founding the nation of Japan, and a bit later, KyoAni?

    Makes perfect sense, actually.

  17. 17 LianYL 777 comments

    Actually Kokanaden’s right, there is Gintama.

Do not use any < and > for your own sake. It will end the comment there and then. Also, there is an automatic IQ filter which weeds out comments made by those who accidentally got transported from the stone age.

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