What if All the Team Fortress 2 Jobclasses were Replaced with Female Anime Characters?

I haven’t been much of a gamer since 2-3 years ago, but recently I’ve been playing Team Fortress 2 a lot and it’s really fun. Discussing it on the animeblogging channel, we realised that while the character models for TF2 are quite cool, it can be made better by using females. And while we’re at it, might as well use female anime characters?

So here are my suggestions for who should be what in TF2. It did occur to me that I can just plonk the cast of Coyote Ragtime Show down.. but let’s not do that. Too easy then.

Scout
Kagura from Gintama
She can run really fast, jump high, talk funny and beat people with a large stick. Though reporting correct information may be a bit difficult for this lovably moe-parodying loli… one of my favourite characters from my favourite series for one of my favourite classes.


Imagine Shinpachi as an Intel briefcase and Kagura jumping off the roof path of 2Fort… fits!


Soldier

Revy from Black Lagoon
There are tonnes of anime females which fit into the soldier character, including Motoko from GitS, Mao from FMP etc because fighting females are a standard anime character type. Nevertheless, to fit with the rocket launcher, shotgun and warmongering, bloodthirsty personality, we picked Revy, who does essentially that in Black Lagoon. Badass.


She’s using a sniper rifle in this picture but I distinctly remember she used an RPG sometime.

Pyro
Kannagi Ayane from Kaze no Stigma
The only flame-shooting girl I can think of at the moment. Wait, in Black Lagoon there was a flamethrower girl as well wasn’t there? But Ayane is considered significantly more attractive, being a high schooler and tsundere. Instead of the hatchet, she has the Enraiha. I don’t really fancy Ayane though just like I don’t use the pyro much. And I realised I should’ve used Shana. Oops.


At least she’s cooler than Shana.


Heavy Weapons Guy

KOS-MOS from Xenosaga
Xenosaga is an anime. Anyway, there exists no female with heavier weaponry than KOS-MOS, though it is debatable whether she is female. Her huge-ass minigun is certainly the key factor for her selection as the new Heavy Weapons Girl. As a medic player, I would rather uber a nice KOS-MOS than a fat-lard.


More HW than the HW guy!

Demolition Man
Nice Holyfield from Baccano!
Nice is a bit obscure as she’s from Baccano, and is a one-eyed, heavily-scarred, charming explosives expert. She’s so hardcore she hides grenades in her eye-socket and bra. Surely the demowoman!


Even the eyepatch is on the same eye.. striking resemblance.

Sniper
Yoko from Gurren Lagann
Who else? Seriously, Yoko is the defining sniper (though not the most realistic one) of the year 2007. We would be very pleased to see her babies bounce too.


The shades match too. I hate to use the Sniper but if the character model was Yoko, maybe I’ll use it all the time.

Engineer
Miyuki from You’re Under Arrest
I had trouble coming up with good engineering girls. Kohran from Sakura Wars was one of the candidates, but I settled for Miyuki because I like her better. It would make more sense for her to be a player in Halo though, since you get to drive in that game.


It would be hard to imagine the current Engineer being yaoi with a Soldier, but Miyuki is OK.

Medic
Sakura from Naruto
I wanted Yanagi from Flame of Recca at first but I doubt you n00bs would know her. Anyway, the medic is a fighting hybrid class (I bonesawed many many people already) and Sakura can both heal and fight. So there.


Naruto is better than Bleach.


Spy

Wraith from Full Metal Panic: TSR
For the sneakiest class, we have the sneaky Wraith, who can disguise herself Mission Impossible style. She’s so spy-ish that we haven’t even seen her face at all. She also spies permanently on Chidori. And being from Mithril, you would expect her to be well-versed in the art of assassination and sapping key targets.


Spoiler from the novel! It was hinted in TSR (ok, not hinted but SHOWN) that Wraith was a woman who looks pissed off.

Valve really should change the character models into these, and I’ll play TF2 forever. So what will your anime TF2 team be like?

34 Responses to “What if All the Team Fortress 2 Jobclasses were Replaced with Female Anime Characters?”


  • if revy was an actual player model, the opposing team would just die

  • argh! naruto is in there?!

  • Not really played that game….But I saw the promo video is quite funny ^.^

    Well….If a medic is sakura, then I think she is sure win in close combat…..( A scout is a must die ….)

  • pyro: hinamori momo can shoot fireballs.
    heavy weapons: chise can take out a country and more.
    sniper: seras victoria can carry a 60kg rifle and still snipe with it.

    these are my votes

  • Cheer for kagura!!!

  • “Wait, in Black Lagoon there was a flamethrower girl as well wasn’t there?”
    I’m pretty sure it was a fat man :(

  • “Imagine Shinpachi as an Intel briefcase and Kagura jumping off the roof path of 2Fort… fits!”

    I laughed at that mental image. It totally works.

  • Demolition man: Louise, because she keeps blowing up saito.
    Sniper: Rico(gunslinger girl) she’s a great shot IMO.

  • Pyro: Why not Hikaru Shidou from MKR? She even comes with a flame-throwing mecha. XDD Old skool = win.

  • Freaking spies and their backstabbing!

  • Let’s see:

    Scout: Major Makoto Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell, any incarnation really)
    A true professional and skilled in *all* aspects of espionage (if you believe Stand Alone Complex). Plus what Scout never dreamed of being invisible?

    Soldier: Balalaika (Black Lagoon)
    “With her as the brains, they survived that hot, sandy hell.”

    Pyro: Shayla-Shayla (El Hazard OAV)
    Where’s my flamethrower? I AM A FLAMETHROWER!

    Heavy Weapons Gal: Mahoro Andou (Mahoromatic)
    One of the cutest walking weapons of mass destruction you will ever see. She’ll happily tote tank cannons into battle if you promise her a bust upgrade as her mustering in pay.

    Demolition Woman: Minnie May Hopkins (Gunsmith Cats OAV)
    An artificial loli (nasty things drugs, they really stunt your growth) with a penchant for all things that go boom.

    Sniper: Maria Tachibana (Sakura Taisen)
    A sniper who can snipe with a *revolver* has to be quite skilled indeed…

    Engineer: Sylia Stingray (Bubblegum Crisis 2032)
    The more mature, collected Sylia as opposed to her more unstable 2040 counterpart. If she can build hardsuits from scratch with her own money, she has more than enough mechanical expertise to handle this job.

    Medic: Ray (Ray the Animation)
    All the skills of Dr Blackjack plus that special X-ray vision and a lot easier on the eyes to boot.

    Spy: Ginrei (Giant Robo OAV)
    Not only a femme fatale par excellance, she has successfully deceived the enemy organization to think it has TWO super agent foes in the field through her impressive disguise skills.

  • Mechamorph: I like your list a lot! I didn’t pick some personal favourite characters because they probably wouldn’t be recognised by the less well-versed readers. I must be a big otaku since I know all the girls you mentioned.

    Some of the Vandread girls fit the role too, such as Paiway for Medic and whatshernamemeganekko for Engineer.

  • Engineer: Parfait Balblair from Vandread. She’s a meganekko with twintails. (AND a really nice figure!)

  • But your computer is crap and you suck so bad at TF2!

  • I showed this to my gamer friends and they enjoyed it alot! Lets hope some half-life mod decides to follow up on the idea :D

    (Just like how WCIII has plenty of home-made anime-related fighting games – wait they’re all sausage party fighting games, nobody made a female one yet)

    *now why did i put a forbidden %$@*# in the previous comment that made it stuck. -10 intelligence

  • Yanagi doesn’t fight though, and she only heals when she’s dead… =/

  • Hedric, your memory is fault. Yanagi has the power to heal anytime, anywhere, that’s how the Recca team gets through every battle unscathed. Recca’s eighth dragon, Resshin, has the power to absorb dead people and take their form, which amplifies her healing power.

  • Engineer: Winry from FMA?

  • … i dont get it

  • Hmm……its a good idea actually.KOS-MOS is the good choice of heavy.AND NOT TO MENTION THE FATTY LARD :)

  • anyway,not only KOS-MOS that is able to carry heavy guns.’T-elos’ from xenosaga ep III was able to carry heavy guns too

  • anyway,not only KOS-MOS that is able to carry heavy guns.’T-elos’ from xenosaga ep III was able to carry heavy guns too.

  • Cheers for KOS-MOS :)

  • It is a terrible idea. I support the female skin option part, as it would let the female gamers have a slightly more personal avatar, but anime? Seriously, no… no no no.

  • Vaguely Obscure

    Would be funnier if I were familiar with all of the series represented, which I’m not. I usually don’t dive for over-the-top battle-oriented shounens, as I find the story and characters lacking, above all in originality.

    But seriously, no, Naruto is not now, never has been, and never will be better than Bleach.

    Can’t think of any other pyros? Kyouko from Black Cat > Ayane. Ditzy schoolgirl in a more revealing outfit who breathes fire will generally beat out a tsundere holding a sword like a phallus.

  • Yanagi > Sakura. . . . yanagi was usefull since episode one. . . sakura took her over 300 episode to finally be useful.

  • To Vic:

    Thanks for your comment. We’re all glad to know what you think, since this “What if” article is indeed the basis for an actual, official update of Team Fortress 2. Maybe now that you’ve pointed out that not everyone would like to see anime crossed over with TF2, the authors of this piece will cancel their pitch meeting with Valve software, which was to take place next monday.

  • TF2 is boring as heck. There’s no way you could even begin to compare anime characters with the shallow, limited classes in TF2. In fact, I think you should have your entire anime collection burned for even trying.

  • KOSMOS for the win!

  • itsa charming idea and i like anime but but noanime females couldnt possibly workfor TF2.it just throws theidea of men trying to obliderate each toher way off. though i did find this becuasei was looking to see if there was any news about female additions to TF2. that would be fine but anime girls just not suiting at all.

  • How about Levy from Last Exile or Winly from Fullmetal Alchemist for engineer?

  • Seras Victoria from hellsing can both be the heavy weapon “gal” and the sniper. Fits better than that “OMAUMA” and she IS a female. I mean, have you seen her TITS?

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